The library is quiet this morning, as it is many Monday mornings before the sun has even come up. Our table was free today, which is good. I don’t think Trevor would have beenable to stop me from bodily hauling a potential interloper away.
Not when I’m this strung tight.
I’ve had a hard time letting go of my worry for my mom, a fact I think she knows based on the multiple calls and texts I’ve made to her over the past few days. She hasn’t called me out on it though.
And then there’s my dad.
I scowl thinking about our most recent conversation. The one where he confirmed event details for his company’s product launch the weekend after next. Part of me wishes I wouldn’t have agreed to go. But another part of me is glad. After this, I’m done. For a good long while. And my dad knows it.
I just hope these next couple weeks pass quickly and without incident so I can relax.
“Huh,” Trevor says, drawing my attention.
I reorient my thoughts to the present. “What is it?”
“An email from my professor.” He’s quiet for a moment, presumably reading. “My suspension has been lifted. I’ve…been cleared of all wrongdoing.”
I lean back enough to see his face, my pulse skipping. “That’s good, right? Holy shit.Trevor, that’s amazing.”
“Yeah,” he says slowly.
“Why aren’t you more excited?” I demand, pushing at his chest. “This isn’t the time for stoicism. You’re allowed to be a petty bitch.”
He chuckles. “I guess I just have mixed feelings about it. Yeah, it’s good. It’s what I wanted. But…I shouldn’t have been in this position. If the professor had done any actual investigation into the incident before accusing me based on his own bias, I wouldn’t be sitting here glad to have a suspension lifted that was wrongly placed to begin with.”
I rub his arm, understanding as best as I can from an outside perspective. “Fuck that guy.”
He huffs another laugh. “I think I’m going to get my website started.”
I twist around fully to see him better, not having expected that in the least. My book thunks closed, but I don’t worry about it. “Really? Why now?”
He considers his words for a long moment. Long enough for my gaze to have plenty of time to roam over him. He’s wearing a turtleneck this morning, despite not having known if he’d be allowed back in his class. It’s light blue and soft, such a gentle color for a man I’m fairly certain could take on the world and win. I’ve loved these damn turtlenecks from the start, and now that I’m acquainted with what’s hiding underneath, they’re like a tease every time I glimpse Trevor in one.
But knowing why he’s wearing it today—to cover up for a man who has a certain measure of control over Trevor’s education—makes me want to burn the goddamn world down so he doesn’t have to face any of it to begin with.
“I’m dying to know what’s going through your head right now,” Trevor says, his gaze a mix of amused and something far softer.
I realize I’m twisting the fabric of his turtleneck in my fist and force my hand to loosen. “I probably shouldn’t say it aloud. It’s not rational.”
He hums. “Feelings rarely are.”
Clearing my throat, I give him a nudge. “Back on topic. What changed? With getting your website started now.”
Trevor relaxes back against his seat, his arms wrapped around me loosely. “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter. If I getkicked out or not, it’s going to happen. I’ve already planned everything out. All I’m doing is waiting around out of an abundance of caution. And I guess… I don’t want to base my choices on hypothetical worst-case scenarios.”
“Isn’t that kind of ingrained in a business major? Risk analysis and all that?”
“In a way. But getting kicked out wouldn’t affect my business. So why wait?”
I think that over, nodding. “So…you’re gonna do this?”
“I’m gonna do this.”
My grin is slow-growing. “My porn star boyfriend.”
Trevor smirks, although it’s a verymodestsmirk. “Not a star.”
“Yet,” I retort. “You better let me be your first subscriber. If I find out Lumi got the honor before me, there’ll be hell to pay.Hell, Trevor.”
