Right. I suppose the suit my dad instructed I put on before he all but dragged me out of the ranch house is good for keeping the bees at bay. Even if I’m starting to sweat under the layers.
My dad makes a thoughtful sound as he checks another of the frames. “Better give it another week before I collect the honey.”
“How do you know when it’s ready?”
“Ah, well. See the honeycomb cells here? Most of ’em needa be capped on top. It’s the bees’ way of storing the honey that’s ready. We’re nearly there. Looks like we’ll have a good harvest this year.”
My dad audibly praises the bees, slipping both frames back into the hive. Beekeeping is his current fixation. He’s alwayshad one hobby or another to entertain him, for as long as I can remember. He started this hive not that long ago with the sole purpose of harvesting honey in order to make my mom lavender-honey cookies from scratch, a favorite treat she tried years ago but can’t buy around here.
He’s always shown his love through action more than anything. Not that he doesn’t tell us he loves us plenty. But hearing it and feeling it your entire life are two different things.
“Why are you and Mom divorced?” I ask.
My dad stills for just a second before finishing the task of closing up the hive. Turning away from it, he waves me into step next to him. “Walk with me.”
My dad pulls off his beekeeper’s hat, so I do the same, the two of us looking ridiculous in our all-white attire. The sun overhead is hot today, the dairy barn not far off from the beehive setup. It’s peaceful out here. Quiet and a little more secluded than my dad’s cabin-style home near the ranch house.
“Did I ever tell you the story of how your mother and I got engaged?”
I nod slowly, the memory of it a distant thing. “It was spur of the moment, right? While y’all were…outside somewhere?”
“At a friend’s pig roast, that’s right. Doesn’t sound the most romantic, I know.” My dad lets out a soft chuckle before his voice turns almost wistful. “But I remember the moment clearly. Your mother was laughing, the sun shining behind her. I thought to myself, ‘this woman right here is the most important person I will ever meet.’ I asked her to marry me. Just two words. And she said yes.”
My dad smiles, stopping in the shade of a large tree. I see a lot of Jackson and Remi in his face. The more angular features. Colton and I have always looked more like our mom.
“Your mother never let me live that down,” he says, sounding fond. “There was no ring. No finesse whatsoever. We were young and rash and foolish at times, me more than her. But we were in love. We got divorced so I could do it right.”
I nearly trip over my own foot, despite the fact that we’re standing still. “What?”
My dad laughs, his smile crinkling his eyes. “You heard. We got divorced so I could propose again. I know that probably doesn’t make sense to a lot of folks, but it doesn’t need to. It made sense to us.”
I shake my head, hardly able to believe I’ve never heard this story before. But my parents have always been somewhat private when it comes to their relationship. They’re not…cold to one another. Never have been, despite them being divorced for so much of my childhood and beyond. But I thought that was part of the problem. Their heated bickering.
“It wasn’t because of the fighting?” I ask my dad.
His eyes widen in clear surprise. “What? ’Course not. Your mother and I fight because we care. So damn much. There’s not a single person on this earth I’d fight as hard for.”
For a second, I’m reminded of Colton and Noah and their less-than-amicable start. “And the separate houses?”
My dad shrugs. “Works best for us. We’re both stubborn. I don’t have to tell you that. A little space reminds us of what we’re missing when we’re both being too hardheaded to apologize.” At my staring, my dad lets loose a laugh. “What, did you think your mother and I had fallen out of love?”
“Well, yeah,” I admit. “I figured your feelings had to have changed, and, maybe, you stuck close to one another for the family’s benefit.”
My dad’s lips twitch into a small smile. “Relationships look different for everybody. Some people are meant to find oneanother. To stick through thick and thin. I truly believe that. There’s no mistaking when you’ve found a connection so rare. A person you can’t imagine living your life without.”
My chest tumbles and swoops, painted eyes, like earth and air, flitting to the forefront of my mind. I look out toward the far fields leading to the base of the mountains, the knowledge of Oakley so close a comfort, even if I can’t see him right this instant.
It wasn’t the same when he was thousands of miles away. When I couldn’t see his face without a phone screen or feel the vibrations accompanying his voice. When I didn’t have the assurance that he was within my reach if I needed him. To know his arms were available for a hug.
I’ve always wanted Oakley close. Wanted him for my own. Even when we were kids facing the unstoppable tide of time, I didn’t want to lose what I’d found with him.
Someone who understands me. Who listens and makes me feel light. Someone who loves me without a single condition.
Oakley has always loved me. And I’ve always loved him.
Which is why him leaving Darling, leavingme, cut worse than anything else I’ve ever faced.
I find my dad’s gaze, the man watching me patiently. My throat feels hoarse when I speak. “Why did y’all divorce the second time?”
