“Mhm.”
Heaving a sigh, I settle into the space next to him, my eyelids heavy as my head hits the pillow. Oakley’s hands are behind his head, his stare on the ceiling, same as mine.
“I’m not going to apologize,” I tell him.
His head turns my way. “For what?”
“You know what. Dragging you back here. It needed to be done.”
“For whose sake? My own?”
I chew my lip, and Oakley flicks my forehead.
“Stop it,” I tell him, swatting his hand. He only huffs a laugh. “Yes, for your sake, Oak. You were being stubborn about staying there because you thought we’d judge you for coming home. We never would.”
He hums.
“For your parents’ sake, too,” I add. “Renting this house was a load of trouble for them. It’ll be easier now with you buying it back.”
“Is that so?” Oakley says, sounding amused. “Sure does look like they had trouble keeping this place maintained.”
I ignore the comment. “Not to mention for Wendy’s sake. She missed you. A lot. You said you’d come back at least once a year, and you didn’t.”
His voice is soft. “I know. And I’m sorry about that.”
I nod in a jerk.
“Is that all?” he asks.
It takes considerable effort to turn my head, but I do, meeting Oakley’s painted eyes. I can’t tell him it felt like losing a limb when he drove off with Stevie. That every year that passed without him coming home, even to visit, scared me more than the simple passage of time ever could. I can’t say missing him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure.
I’ve always been close with Oakley. Closer than I am with anyone else. But I recognize the way I need him in my life isn’t a fair burden to put on a friend.
How would I even explain it? It’s selfish, wanting to be his first priority. But once upon a time, when we were kids, Oakley was my entire world, and I was his. I never wanted that to change.
It wasn’t supposed to.
“Law,” Oakley says, voice quiet. “Full transparency, remember? You promised.”
My eyes sting, but I refuse to let the tears fall. “I wanted you back forme. For my sake, all right? I’ve tried so damn hard to be what everyone needed me to be. A good husband. A good father. A good brother and son and friend. And all the while, the person I needed most was across the goddamn country.”
Oakley’s eyes are wide, but the words are rolling out now, and there’s no stopping them.
“I missed you so much it was unbearable, Oak. I know it’s not fair to you, but I need you here. You don’t get to leave again.”
He blinks, a slow thing. “You know, I’ve always found it funny when folks talk about you as this utterly unflappable presence. People around town, parents of the kids in your classes, your family even. And you are calm and collected, Law. Around just about everybody but me.”
“Because it’s different with you.”
“Why?”
“You’re my person.”
He lets out a short puff of air. “I’m not leaving again. All right? I’m sorry, Lawson. I didn’t… I didn’t realize you were so lonely with me gone.”
Lonely. The word doesn’t do it justice, but I nod anyways, my throat tight.
“Fuck,” Oakley mutters. “C’mere.”
