It is, in fact, Benson. Although he looks different than I remember. But it’s been, what? Years since I last saw him? He has a beard now. And he looks a good bit bigger. Bulkier.
Remi lets out a garbled sort of choking sound.
“Jesus,” Ash says. “Is he a lumberjack?”
“No, he’s in corporate finance,” Colton says before frowning. “Or he was.”
“Didn’t you used to have a crush on him?” I ask Remi, his reaction sparking a memory. “Back when you were sixteen or so?”
“What?” Remi says quickly. “No. ’Course not.”
Jackson cringes. “Really? He’s my age.”
‘There was no crush,’Remi snaps with shaky hands. He pushes out of his seat, brushing a quick,‘Excuse me,’our way.
A few eyes follow Remi as he heads into the house.
Colton hops up, swiping his hat and fixing it into place. “I’ll go say hello. Tomorrow, Law. Don’t forget.”
“Yep.”
As Colton saunters off, my mom hums. “Well, now. Who’s gonna get dinner started?”
By the time I get to Oakley’s, I’m beat. I kick my boots off inside the door, drop my keys on the kitchen table, and head to the couch, all but falling into Oakley’s lap. He chuckles, one hand sifting through my hair as I turn my gaze up to look at him. He’s not wearing the glasses anymore. They looked nice.
But then again, Oakley always looks nice.
“I realized something today,” I tell him.
He cocks his head, fingers continuing their slow passage through my hair. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“Something I haven’t said.”
“Am I supposed to guess?” Oakley asks, his eyes dancing. “Because that might take a while.”
“No,” I answer softly. “Just…listen, all right?”
His humor fades, giving way to a seriousness as he nods once.
Maybe it’s nothing monumental, this moment on his couch, with fatigue weighing my limbs and Oakley dressed in sweats. But as I told him before, I like ordinary. I likethis. And I don’t want to keep any part of myself from him ever again.
“When I was younger,” I start, “folks would always say I’d know what love was because it’d feel different than what I felt for friends. And when I met Laura, itwasdifferent than what I felt for you. I just didn’t realize until far too late what that meant.”
Oakley swallows roughly, his hand slowing.
“Oak… I’ve loved you since before I knew what love was. I’ve been trying to pinpoint the time when things changed for me, but…they never did. That’s the thing. I loved you from the very start. Back then. Now. I’m more than certain I’ll love you always. And I haven’t told you that.”
Tears line Oakley’s eyes, ones he doesn’t try to hide. He’s never been afraid to cry in front of me. Oakley knows vulnerability isn’t a weakness. He’s shown that to me time and time again. I think it’s a big part of why I’ve been able to be so open with him in return.
It’s a gift, letting someone see the deepest parts of us. Knowing we’re safe to.
His voice is raspy when he speaks. “Law. You know I love you, too, right?”
“I do.”
“And that’s not going away. Not ever.”
“I know,” I tell him. “It’s not fickle, you and me.”
