“Right now, hearing how you don’t think I’m a good father isn’t what he needs to listen to.”
She swallows, then offers, “It’s not that I don’t think you’re a good dad, Freak. It’s the environment you’re raising him in. If you left the club, got a good job, then I wouldn’t have anything to worry about. Here,” she waves her hand around her, “he’s subjected to live pornography, men fighting, swearing, and drinking. You have a club where girls strip for a living, and you deal drugs. Then there’s murder. You didn’t hesitate to kill Candyman or that other man.”
“We don’t deal drugs,” I snap, sharply. “We don’t take them or sell them.” We maybe transport them over the border for more tolerant chapters, but don’t touch the hard stuff ourselves. “And have you ever wondered how that man you called yourbrother got his road name? I very much doubt he was handing out the type of candy you’d approve off.”
“You didn’t contradict anything else,” she throws at me accusingly.
I walk to the window, look outside for a moment, then turn around. “Why don’t we go and have a walk around outside? We can continue to talk. And maybe fresh air will temper our words better than these four oppressive walls.”
Her eyes narrow, then her face relaxes as if she senses I’ve thrown her an olive branch. “Outside would be nice.”
I wait for her to put on her shoes, then open the door and let her precede me. Then I lead her down the stairs, and out onto the pathway that leads to the clubhouse. But instead of taking her there, I veer off onto the dry ground. We’re bikers. We don’t bother with planting grass, not wanting to be troubled with the maintenance. While some grows during the wetter months, and even flowers spring up during the monsoons, we’re just coming out of May, which is our driest month, so any old vegetation has died away, except for the odd cactus and creosote bushes, jojoba, and the occasional desert saltbush. Beneath our feet the sand’s been packed down hard.
I lead her away, she startles when a lizard runs across our path, then laughs at herself. She seems lighter out here, maybe it’s because she no longer feels she’s a prisoner.
It’s me who returns to our previous conversation first. “We live this life you’ve got so many issues about, because we’ve all found our place here. Me, because I served, but when I didn’t re-enlist – when Ace became my sole responsibility – there wasn’t much of a place for me elsewhere. The skills the Army taught me mostly had no place in a civilian world. Some brothers have similar reasons to me, others have their own kind of demons. We were drawn to the Kings because they offered us family. Are we rough around the edges? You bet. But, darlin’, you’ve neverseen a unit of soldiers assigned some R&R.” I chuckle softly. “Depending on the deployment or missions they’re taking a break from, it can make the Kings look like angels.”
“You’re not in a war zone now, Freak. You’re not fighting in some far-off place. And your enemies are other US citizens.”
“Nah,” I correct her. “Not citizens, but the cartel, Mafia, other MCs that want what we’ve got. We don’t go after innocents.” But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing? Though her actions and affiliations have shown she’s not as lily white as she’d like to believe. “But it’s certainly not all fighting. We don’t go out looking for trouble. But, if it comes to us, we sort it.” I swipe my hands through my hair. “We want a peaceful life as much as the next person. All we want is to work, bring in enough money to keep us fed, and ride our bikes. We just want to be left in peace.”
“It sounds almost idyllic when you put it like that.” Then she places her hands on my arms, looking into my eyes, and says, “Freak, I need to know more about your club, understand this family of yours better. I’m sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain. I’m sorry for all the mistakes that I made. I know you said no yesterday.” She swallows hard. “But have you reconsidered? Is there any chance we can start over?”
“Fuck no,” I rasp out. I cock a brow at her. “Even fuckin’ now you’re consumed with ways to keep Ace in your life. It was never me you were interested in. Only your sister’s fuckin’ kid.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “But without Candy telling me lies, I’m starting to see the real you. I could easily fall in love with you. And I already love Ace.” Her hands draw me closer. “You had feelings for me once. That’s why you asked me to move here. You wanted me. You can’t turn that off.”
I look to the heavens as if for inspiration. “You could fall in love with me? People don’t hurt the ones they love. You betrayed Ace’s trust in you. And you fuckin’ destroyed me when you took my son. Have feelings for you? Fuck no. You destroyed anychance of that. You even lied to me while I was making love to you in my bed.” I step back out of her hold.
Her mouth drops open. “I didn’t lie. Why would you say that?”
“You faked your orgasms.” Mentally I cross my fingers, hoping the information Trixie gave me was right.
There’s a gasp, a full-face blush, then, in a barely there voice, “How did you know?”
“A man always knows.” A little white lie won’t hurt me, right?
She seems stumped for a reply. Fuck. I’d given her a chance, I’ve heard her out. There’s no way I can settle for the alternative Prez suggested. I can’t keep her close. I’d never again be able to believe a word that comes out of her mouth. And, most importantly, I don’t believe Ace would ever forgive me if I gave her another chance.
There’s a question I need to ask her, knowledge that would be useful to have before I take away her ability to talk. “Tell me the truth. Why did Candyman come to you? How the fuck did he know you were Ace’s aunt?”
She rears back as if not having expected that question, then her shoulders raise and lower, and she starts speaking as if it’s of no consequence. “Dad had a friend, he’d been around for years. I don’t have the story about how they met, but he was often about the house. He was like an uncle to me.” Her face clouds over momentarily. “He used to ride a motorcycle, like you.” A wan smile appears and goes. “As he got older, he switched to a trike. Dad used to pull his leg about it.” She shrugs again. “Anyway, when Dad died, he was kind to me. I had friends, yes, but no one but him had been a constant in my life for most of it. So I told him about the DNA test, and that I’d found Ace. My excitement played on his conscience, that he knew something I didn’t, something my dad had sworn him to secrecy about. Itwas then he told me, Dad had had another child, one who’d been taken from him, when he and his lover had fallen out.”
How easily this woman is taken in by lies. “The convenient son being Candyman? What’s this friend of your dad’s name?”
“Evan Carter.”
I file that name away. From what she’s told me, I’d place good money that her dear old family friend was affiliated with the MDMC. The bike part sways me the most. It looks like I’ve got my answer. I don’t like leaving loose ends.
Subtly I reposition myself, moving behind her. Unseen I take my gun out of its holster, line it up, ready to fire one single bullet into her head. But I hesitate for too long. She turns around, sees the gun in my hand and immediately drops to her knees, her hands held up in supplication.
“Freak?” Her voice vibrates with shock, an octave higher than normal.
I keep my tone steady, letting no emotion come into it. “Ace means everything to me. I will not spend the next couple of years fighting CPS, which I’d have to do if you reported me for some bullshit reason, or worrying about the Feds turning up at the door and cause my whole fuckin’ club trouble due to some twisted story you’ve told them. If it wasn’t for Trixie’s soft heart, you wouldn’t be here right now. I’d have left you where you were with the MDMC.”
Her voice is unsteady. “Freak, I wouldn’t betray you.” She gulps and tears start to roll down her cheeks. “I promise, I wouldn’t.”
I study her for a moment. “Yes, you would. You’ve lied to me from the start. I can’t believe anything you say to me now.” Again I roll my head up, stare at the sky, then look back down. Apart from my time in Delta Force when a female could be a deadly terrorist just as much as a man, I’ve never considered killing awoman. No matter how much of a hardened soldier I am, pulling this trigger is going to be hard.
