I’d admired Short. I’d liked him, and even, against the odds, was starting to hope that however much of a challenge it would be, eventually, we might be more.
I hate him now. Instead of helping me, he’s going to destroy me. He’s hurt me so badly I can’t see how I’ll recover. If it were just me, I wouldn’t care. But it’s Trip who I need to keep fighting for.
I’ve got to get him to listen to the truth about my son and the reason he can’t return to my family. If Short wants to blame and despise me after knowing the facts, then so be it. While he’s sunk to the bottom of the list of people I trust, and to be honest, there was ever only him on it, his behaviour with Trip during themeltdown suggested there’s just a chance he might prove more sympathetic toward my son.If he ever listens to me.
Having ended his phone call, Short has turned his back. I wonder how much time I’ve got before Saint and Pippa turn up. Sinking my head into my hands, I predict their reaction when Short tells them his version of what kind of person I am. And if they believe him, then it will be three against one. What chance have I got?
Only one. To give him enough information to bring him over to my side.
It probably helps that he’s not looking at me, as I at last open my mouth to voice the secrets I’ve kept locked inside for the past eight years, and even longer.
Knowing I have to start at the beginning, I try to keep my tone steady and calm. But all the blows, all the beatings, I took to drum the need for secrecy into me, make me sound weaker than I want, as I start my admission. “My dad started abusing me when I was younger than Trip.” No reaction, no stiffening, no sign he’s heard. Tremulously, I continue, “At first it was visits to my bed. He’d touch me, tell me I was his special girl. Then, one night, he raped me, and it fucking hurt.” I wait for the thunder and lightning to start, something to punish me for uttering those words, but there’s nothing. “He left me bleeding, sore, and aching. Mom saw the blood, but just brushed it off, explaining about women and periods. I was eight, Short. Eight years old. He came back the next night. I screamed, so, he drugged me. I didn’t know it at the time, but that special hot chocolate he brought me? I know now it contained Rohypnol. He’d given a date/rape drug to me. Then, all I knew was that when I woke up in the morning, I was bleeding again. After a while, the bleeding stopped, but the hot chocolate kept coming, and so did the soreness. Eventually, he began weaning me off the drug and started putting his filthy dick into me while I was fully awake. Itried to tell Mom, but she would smack me for making up lies. But she knew. I think she lost her libido, and would rather he forced me than her.”
There’s a slight reaction. Short shudders, but he doesn’t turn to face me. It’s easier talking to his back, so I carry on. “I had no one to talk to. I was homeschooled, so there were no teachers or people in authority who I could tell what was going on to. And even if there were, how could I have told them? I was Daddy’s favourite, beautiful girl. Much as I hated him grunting on top of me, the picture my parents had painted made the alternative sound far worse. They said everyone would think I was lying, and I’d be sent away to a home for naughty girls.” A sob bursts from my mouth. “Nothing I could do would stop him. I was so young and powerless. So, I endured it. Six years it went on, until I got pregnant. I was fourteen.”
“Fuck!” he shouts.
His voice is too loud. “Shush,” I softly plead. “Don’t wake Trip. And no, don’t turn around,” I say fast, as I see Short start to move. “I can’t get this out while you're looking at me.”Judging me,I admit in my head.
“We had no family who’d come visiting, and neither Mom nor Dad had anything other than casual friends. Mom left to stay with my aunt when I was about six months gone. Dad delivered Trip, and Mom came home…” While I’d managed to keep a tight hold on my emotions up to now, sobs start to rack my body. “They’d set it all up. If anyone had ever asked, Trip was her miracle baby.”
