He nods and then throws his arms around my neck. I almost tip over, so I stand up with Eli still in my arms. He’s holding me so tightly I barely realize it’s happening until I feel Lindsey plastered to my side, arms around my middle and her body against mine. I wrap one arm around her, holding them both to me. I’m not sure which of us needs this hug the most, but there’s no doubt about it. We all needed it.
CHAPTER 13
LINDSEY
I buried my sister yesterday.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I did it.
The Davenports came, but they were not able to get anywhere near Eli and me.
I’m not sure how Miller did it, but he made it possible for Eli and me to grieve without worrying about anything else. He stood next to us, essentially holding us the whole time. A lot of people were there, and Miller’s whole family showed up and surrounded us. The first thing I thought of was that I wished Tammy was there to see it. We’ve always wanted a big family and to feel that sense of belonging. She would be happy to know that Eli is surrounded by love.
And even though I know this is all temporary and can end at any time, I’m so glad Eli is able to be a part of it now when he needs it most.
After the funeral, we went back to Miller’s house, and I couldn’t believe how many people came to pay their respects. Violet brought three of her Blaze apple cinnamon cakes, and the Blaze brothers arrived with their families, honoring Tammy for teaching their kids. Despite the crowd, everything was well managed. Miller had security in place, making sure only approved guests were allowed in.
People ate and talked about Tammy, and it was amazing hearing all the stories that were told. It made Eli and me both feel better knowing how much she was loved.
I feel a hand at my waist. “You okay?”
I turn and look up at Miller. He’s been so patient and caring with me. He’s constantly asking Eli and me if we need anything. I’ve tried to talk to him about the Davenports, but all he says is that I don’t need to worry about it; he’s got it handled.
But instead of saying any of that, I ask him a question that’s been worrying me. “Do you think it’s too soon for Eli to go to baseball?”
He leans against the counter, and without even thinking about it, I lean into him. It’s only been two days since we moved in here, and already there is a comfort between Miller and me. He brings one hand up to the side of my neck. “What does Eli want to do?”
“He wants to play.”
He nods. “Yeah, sometimes we as adults worry about what other people are going to think or overanalyze things. I think if he wants to play, he probably needs to be with his friends or whatever. But you know him best. I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right thing.”
That brings a smile to my face. “You are good to me, Miller.”
His finger strokes back and forth on my neck. His touch ignites a reaction in me that has my body tingling. I reach up and cover his hand. “I think it’s me. Tammy was with me at all the practices and the games. I’m just nervous, I guess. But you’re right. It will be good for Eli to be with his friends.”
I’m looking up into Miller’s eyes, and the attraction is real. All I have to do is go up on my tiptoes, and I could kiss him. I still think about that first kiss and how it made me feel. But before I cansuccumb to it, I hear running on the stairs and then a jump onto the landing. “Are you ready?” Eli shouts.
I turn in Miller’s arms and look at my nephew with his baseball uniform on and his bag on his back. There goes the question on whether he should go or not. We’re definitely going.
Reluctantly, I look up at Miller. “Well, I guess we’ll see you later.”
I don’t want to leave him. There’s a comfort I feel when I’m with him, and I don’t want to leave the safety of his home or his arms.
He hugs me against him and then lets go. “What do you mean you’ll see me later? I’m going with you.”
Eli doesn’t seem surprised by the announcement, but I am. “You’re going to the game?”
He gives me a look like I’m crazy. “Of course I am.”
Speechless, I grab the bag of snacks and drinks off the counter, and before I can throw it over my shoulder, Miller takes it to carry outside.
Miller drives us across town to the ball field, and as soon as we park, Eli gets out and runs to where all his teammates are gathered.
Miller holds his hand out, and I reach for him. I’m not sure if he’s putting on a show or what it is, but I’m glad to have him at my side.
We get to the stands, and I’m taken aback when I see all of his family, excluding Penn and Guy, taking up a whole section. I can feel the tears start to burn, but I hold them back. They all stand up, ushering Miller and me in, and when we sit, I find that they’ve placed us in the middle of all of them.
I turn to the girls. “Thank you for coming.” I suck in an emotional breath. I don’t even know how to explain what it means to me. “You don’t… I just…”
