Stop it.
“Whatever you want, I don’t care,” I lied.
My gaze drifted back to her, and even in the low light of the room, it was clear she didn’t buy it.
Her panic-filled face when I’d burst into her room had left me rattled, and the leftover agitation was finding other places to go. Being stuck in the dark with her was dangerous, especially when she didn’t have a shirt on and the basement was cold, and the bra she was wearing beneath the Kevlar gave almost everything away.
I was sure I found her far more irritatingly attractive than she did me.
Fuck, I needed something to extinguish the slow burn of desire, and I needed to find it fast, but my brain failed me. So, I stood across from her in the darkened basement, gripping the flashlight so hard I worried I’d break it in half.
I went to the stairs and hesitantly sat beside her, knowing it was a mistake.
She shifted, moving her arms around like the vest was uncomfortable. “It’s scratchy.”
“I imagine. I usually have a shirt on when I’m wearing one.” Did I really need to remind myself she didn’t have a shirt?
“Do you have to wear one a lot?”
“When I’m in the field, I do. They’re annoying and decrease mobility, but, you know, helpful in stopping bullets some of the time.”
“Some of the time?” Her voice was alarmed.
Once again, my brain-to-mouth filter refused to work. “The vest can fail. Or if a shooter’s too close, the impact can cause internal bleeding. It can do more damage wearing one than not.”
She looked down at her vest like she thought it might explode.
“But,” I added quickly, “that doesn’t happen often. It’s a small gamble with a much bigger reward.”
It fell quiet so the only noise was the furnace running in the corner.
My phone buzzed, interrupting the horrible idea I’d had of putting my arm around her to keep her warm.
“This is Dunn.” I peered at her while pressing the phone to my ear, and my expression must have given away I was receiving bad news.
“What’s going on?” Her voice was edged with concern.
“The same car is back.”
I didn’t believe in coincidence, and neither did Bill, I explained to her. The car was casing the neighborhood. Thesecond unit had called the local PD to perform a traffic stop, and they would know a lot more in the next ten minutes.
I didn’t flinch when her small, cold hand found mine on the step. I let it rest there for a moment, unable to move. The horrible idea revived in me, and I slid closer so I could tuck her under my arm.
I tried to convince myself there was nothing sexual about this. It was only about protection, helping to make her feel safe, warm, and not alone. But it only lasted until she shifted her weight and leaned into me. The warm, bare skin of her arm pressed against the naked skin of my chest.
The waiting was painstakingly long, and the desire for her grew more suffocating with each of her shallow breaths. When the call finally came that they’d taken the driver in for questioning, we both remained frozen.
“It’s safe to go upstairs,” I said.
She didn’t move.
Sometime before I’d drifted off to sleep last night, I’d decided what this was between us.
Lust.
I certainly didn’t believe in love at first sight, but lust at first sight? That was definite. And labeling this as such gave me the belief I could overcome it.
Now I wasn’t so sure.
