“I need to be in control.”
He pulled back to deliver a confused smile. “I’m your husband. You don’t trust me?”
“The first time I got into bed with you, you strangled me.”
That gave him pause. “All right. I can let you be in control.”
“That’s not enough.” My hands hung at my sides, and I clenched my fingers tightly. “I have to be sure.”
“Hmm.” He was distracted by what he thought was going to happen, and his fingertips traced patterns down my bare arms. “How would we do that?”
I nervously pulled at the undone tie at his neck, sliding it free. I coiled it in my hand, making it apparent.
“You want to tie me up?” His skeptical look made my breath catch. I nodded, my lips pressed together. He considered it, and to my relief, his mouth curved into a playful smile. “We can do that.”
I practically ran to his closet and grabbed a handful of ties, him laughing.
“You in a hurry, darling?”
The memory hit me hard. The hotel hallway where he’d kissed me, but he’d looked different then. Didn’t he have piercing blue eyes? The same ones I’d seen in my nightmares in the parking garage?
I came out with the ties dangling from my grip and forced myself to keep it together. To hold on because this might be my only chance, and I had to save Jason.
Ryan had already shed his tuxedo jacket. He worked to unbutton his dress shirt, and I watched as he pulled it off and cast it aside. There was a hungry look in his eyes, and I had tosquash my revulsion when he approached and filled my mouth with his probing tongue.
Do not gag. You can do this.
The faster I got him on the bed, the faster this could be over, so I reached for his belt. I fumbled with the latch, clumsy and hurried, and he seized my hands to slow me down, giving me a questioning look.
That was when I saw the faint ridge of the contacts in his eyes. The other night when I’d come into his bed it had been too dark, but the following morning after he’d pulled me from the balcony, I’d seen his true eye color.
I’d just been too terrified at that time to realize it.
“Are you nervous?” he whispered. “Don’t be.”
And then he took over, undoing his belt and his pants, letting them fall to the floor so he could step out of them. My eyes squeezed shut when he set his greedy hands on my body, caressing and touching and searching for the zipper at my back.
I eased back from him and shook my head. “I want to leave it on a little longer.”
A displeased line formed between his eyebrows but vanished as a new emotion took hold. “You want me to fuck you in your wedding dress?” His expression became pure sin. “We can do that too.”
I swallowed my disgust, put my hands on his shoulders, and shoved him back to take a seat on the side of the bed. I probably used too much force, but he didn’t seem to mind. A chuckle rumbled from his chest. He liked the aggression.
His gaze fell to the ribbons of silk clenched in my fist. “Not too tight,” he said. “Those ties are expensive.”
I nodded. Satisfied, Ryan moved, sliding up the bed until his back was against the headboard. He was calm, comfortable as he offered one of his wrists to me, while my heart chugged along like a runaway train. I knotted one end of a tie around his wrist,then looped the other around the bedpost, jerking it closed with the most secure knot I could manage.
“Where are you going?” he asked, half teasing, half serious when I began to move. I didn’t answer. I marched around the end of the bed and to the other side, reaching for his unbound wrist.
“No.” He pulled his free hand away and suspicion clouded his eyes. “One is enough.”
It took every ounce of control I possessed to continue the performance, especially since this would be the hardest part. I gathered my skirt into my hands, lifting it out of my way so I could climb into his lap.
His eyes widened then hooded with lust at this action. His unbound hand grasped my waist, pulling me down and pressing us together. With only our underwear in the way, I could feel every fucking inch of him, and the shudder that rolled through me was unstoppable.
Thankfully, he thought it was pleasure.
As I recovered, I took in air through small sips and willed my heart to slow down. “Please?” I begged. “I want this.”
