I poured us both another. “So why did you stop drinking, exactly? I’ve seena lotof your memories. The festivals and wild nights that sometimes lasted into days.”
He glanced at me, and I wondered if he was reading my true intentions. I wondered if he knew how badly I wanted to talk about something other than battle plans and war. For one night, I just wanted him distracted enough by me to not worry about everything and everyone else. If he knew, he didn’t say so. Instead, he took the glass I’d refilled and tossed it back, making another face of disgust before placing it down near mine. “When it stopped being for fun, and I started to use it to dull my emotions and feelings.”
“Like?” I dragged the word out.
He leaned closer, his elbows on the table. “Like when I thought there was no you.”
I blinked, not expecting that answer. The warm buzz I felt melted beneath the warmth of his love. I leaned toward him, my hands cupping his jaw as I pressed my lips to his. I pulled back and licked my lips, the taste of him addicting and the feel of his stubble under my fingers a delicious rasp.
“Were you always such a hopeless romantic?”
He smirked and pressed a kiss to my wrist. “I don’t think I am. Not truly. I think I am like everyone else. Even the most brutal kings and warriors wish for the same thing.”
“And what’s that?”
“Love. No one, immortal or not, wishes to be alone forever. No matter what they say.”
“Oh?” My brow rose.
He nodded and slid closer to me, his thigh touching mine as he leaned toward my ear so I could hear him over the laughing tavern. “Look around the room. There are those dancing because they love that music has returned. Others are cuddling because they love one another and need to touch. Even the forest outside sings for its love of the night. Wars have begun and ended because of love. I’ve seen warriors fall on blades in its name. It makes immortality less dull and brings meaning to those who visit the veil sooner than us. It makes life sweet and gives us something to long for, hope for, to hold on to, and if you’re lucky enough, something that won’t fade.”
His hand swept across my shoulder as he pushed my hair to the side. A chill ran through me as his fingertips brushed the exposed skin along my neck. I swallowed as he leaned close, his voice a whisper against my ear.
“Time itself cannot touch it. Death cannot separate it. It is the most powerful force in the world, far outweighing any crown or throne. Immeasurable. Inescapable. All-consuming. It is past want or need. Its only wish is to consume those who share it. Why wouldn’t one wish for it? Everything loves something, even the cruelest among us. I think it would be the definition of tragedy never to feel love at all.”
I swallowed and looked around the room, seeing the joy of a city savoring a brief respite of peace. Leaning closer to him, I felt his breath on my cheek. “That was … beautiful.”
His smile turned devious as he bit at his lower lip. “Or perhaps my mother had several poetry books, and I am a liar attempting to seduce you.”
I whacked him across the shoulder. “You cheater.”
He laughed and shrugged. “You wished to know how I was before, and that was a taste.”
I’d be a liar if I said that hadn’t affected me, but Samkiel always did. Like fire to my blood, he consumed me and made me wish to burn. “And how many have fallen, oh great one?”
“All,” he said with pure male arrogance.
I couldn’t be upset with his cockiness because he’d earned it, and I knew he spoke the truth. He watched me swing my leg over the bench, straddling it. I slid close enough that I was practically in his lap, invading his space. I leaned forward, my mouth inches from his. “And how many have mattered?”
“One,” he said without hesitation, his eyes falling to my lips and heating with a familiar hunger.
“Good boy.” My fingers tipped his chin as I pulled back, not following through on the kiss. I stood and tugged on his hand. “Now come.”
He licked his lips and I could tell by the lust clouding his eyes that he thought I was about to lead him to the room they had set for us, but instead, I grabbed his hands and pulled him toward the dance floor.
“What are you doing?”
“You showed me yours,” I said playfully. “Now, I’ll show you mine.”
“How could I ever refuse?” he asked, his eyes cutting to the crowd as we drew closer before focusing back on me.
I wrinkled my nose. “Shameless flirt.”
His chuckle was a dark seduction as he yanked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I yelped and then laughed, taking the opportunity to run my hands over his butt. Samkiel slapped my ass as he wove his way through the crowd to the center of the room, where people were dancing. Everyone was laughing and having fun, and more than a few people were obviously drunk. He set me on my feet and took my hand, spinning me before catching me again in his arms. A squeal left my lips at the abrupt turn.
I never knew what lovers meant when they spoke of how the world would disappear when they were with their partner. Not until Samkiel. It had never happened when I was with Kaden. I had always been aware of every single part of my surroundings, my body always on guard, never calm or settled. But when I was with Samkiel, he was my entire world.
18
