Okay, those were points, but Vlad didn’t know Tyrone like I did. “I’m going to the auction and I’m going to bid on the hottest bachelor in town. I came to Vermont for my happily ever after and nothing is going to stop me. Certainly not you.”
I bared my fangs at him, incensed that he might be right.
Bob, who was still hanging around, looked back and forth between us and laughed. “I keep telling everyone to come out here and meet you guys.”
Heaven walked downstairs to find me still in my robe, Vlad fuming behind the paper, and Bob droning on about Sheila, his ex apparently. Meanwhile, she was channeling Janelle Monáe in a menswear-inspired look.
“Why aren’t any of you ready?” She looked annoyed.
“Oh, I got distracted.” So far, I had mascara on one eye and a half-baked plan to go to Grand Cayman with Tyrone in March.
“Do I have to do everything around here?” She promptly went back upstairs and returned with the Arwen dress I’d worn to thatLord of the Rings–themed wedding. It was green and fitted, with tight sleeves that flared into a bell shape below the elbow. It came with a crown.
“Do you really think this is the right look for the ball?” I held back a laugh as I remembered walking down the aisle arm in arm with a balding computer programmer dressed like Legolas. We had been a pair.
“You’re the one who kept it. Besides, all dudes loveLord of the Rings.”
She had me there.
I did a bold cherry lip, mascaraed my other eye, and used enough blush to look not only alive but healthy.
Vlad walked in and gave me an up-and-down look. “You’re wearing that?”
“Do you have a problem with it?”
He scowled at me, and Heaven said, “That means he likes it.”
“I’m going too,” he announced.
“No, you’re not,” I snapped back. “You’ll get in my way.”
“I’m going.” He turned to walk toward his bedroom.
Heaven looked me dead in the eye. “It might be nice to have him there. It’s my first night out.”
Heaven wanted Vlad there? Okay, two things. One: She liked andtrusted Vlad. Weird. Two: He might be useful, especially if I was distracted.
Also, she was nervous. How had I missed this? As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I saw her chewing her fingernails and reaching for her phone.
“If you’re coming, don’t wear any ruffly shirts!” I yelled down the hall at Vlad. “Those went out of style two hundred years ago.”
“Should I pick out his outfit? I don’t want him to look his age on Grand Risings.” She opened TikTok. “I did a GRWM, but maybe we could do one with you and Vlad too. And then I’ll do some shots at the ball.”
It hit me. Heaven was so good at connecting authentically with her followers, but sometimes she needed to set the phone down and connect with people in real life.
“Heaven,” I said, “maybe you should try to meet people without Grand Risings tonight. Just be yourself.”
“Did I just hear you tell me to be myself?” Heaven started laughing at my audacity, but set the phone down. She muttered, “I’m an expert at being myself.”
That made one of us.
Unlike Cinderella, I drove myself and two other vampires to the ball in a hearse.
When we arrived at the high school gym, the SugarBoo was already in full swing. The set from the play about all those women who thought they finally got a good job and then died of radium poisoning looked perfect. The giant, poison-coated clockface counted down to my happily ever after. Glasses clinked and people chatted amidst the tinsel-covered trees and twinkling lights. The entire town was decked out in its holiday finest.
Dr. Rosetti was wearing a velvet pantsuit and downing a themed signature cocktail. The SugarBoo was a bourbon and maple syrup concoctionwith a cinnamon stick. It smelled like bacon. Don’t ask me why.
I waved. “Hey, Dr. R.” Heaven was standing at my side, so I went through the appropriate introductions. “Dr. R, this is Heaven. Heaven, Dr. R.”
