I might have been laughing and crying at the same time, but she had missed the point of this completely. “I just wanted to get my facts right. You’re the only person I can speak freely with.”
In a measured tone, so as not to alarm me with her astute observations, she said, “You’re scared that if someone gets close to you, they’ll be hurt.”
Well, that was true.
“That must make it very difficult to make close connections.”
That was also true. Of course I couldn’t make friends. Just being myself, being a friend, had led to Alba’s death. Living for eternity with another Alba on my conscience was unimaginable.
Dr. Rosetti sat back in her chair, looking almost satisfied. “Good work tonight, Tiffany. Uncovering your trauma is a huge part of this process.”
After I collected myself and finished dabbing at my tears, I said, “Being a vampire is the source of all my problems. It is my trauma. Any mortal who I share my secrets with is at risk.” I gave her a look. “You’re the first person I’ve met who is legally bound to keep my secrets.”
“That’s any doct—”
I shushed her. “You almost feel…like a friend.” She was the first person I texted to tell about my bad day, someone whose opinion I trusted. That was friend stuff.
“We have a profe—”
Before she could finish telling me we weren’t friends, I said, “Just don’t break privilege.” Even I knew there wasn’t a statute of limitationson murder.DatelineUniversity.
Earnestly, she said, “I would never break privilege.”
At that moment, an electric current passed between us. Maybe being a therapist was a little like being a vampire, at least in the fact that it was a club where she was duty bound to keep everyone else’s secrets. What happens in therapy stays in therapy. Just like Vegas.
In Aunt Mildred’s pantry, I found some cans of something called No Fear Super Energy Supplement behind the cream of everything soups and Hormel chili. The cans each featured a cartoonish winged skull that would probably appeal to teenage boys. I googled the product before sampling. It was a sports drink popular in the nineties and early aughts and, strangely enough, the sponsor of World Extreme Cagefighting.
They had to be Jeff’s. Snowboarding,Street Fighter II, and macho energy drinks. Aunt Mildred must have been too frugal to throw them away, but too church lady to drink them.
No Fearhad a nice ring to it. And the flavor: Bloodshot. Thanks, Jeff. I wandered to the living room with a can.
“Don’t you two ever check the mail?” Vlad griped. He was holding an armful of letters, fliers, and cards.
“Um, no,” I said.
“Well, thereismail,” he said. “I don’t even know how the mailman fit all of this in the box. He deserves an award.”
The pile of mail was 99 percent junk: pizza fliers, bills, and one letter. It had the same official seal as the notice to vacate.
COMPLAINT AND NOTICE OF INSPECTION
On November 8, 2024, Valentine Inspector Wayne Jarvis wasbitten by an illegal canid while performing an inspection of your property, 623 Maple Lane, otherwise known as the Valentine Bed-and-Breakfast. Wayne Jarvis and the City of Valentine have filed an official complaint regarding this matter.
The city believes that the occupants of 623 Maple Lane are in possession of an illegal canid. Per Vermont law, a coyote or wolf hybrid cannot be kept in a private dwelling without a permit issued by the City of Valentine. We expect said animal to be produced, at which time Valentine Animal Control will collect and dispose of the animal in a humane way.
Furthermore, the bite Mr. Jarvis sustained on your property resulted in an emergency room visit for which he was billed $1,642.33. We have forwarded the bill to you.
The inspection will take place on December 31.
Thank you,
The City of Valentine
This low-level bureaucrat was getting out of hand. My vision was going blurry and red. The only solution I could come up with to this proposed inspection was to drain him. I cracked open the can of Bloodshot in my hand. It was time to see if this ’90s energy drink would satiate my thirst before I finished what Heaven had started.
Vlad stared at me in horror as I guzzled No Fear. Bloodshot tasted like tropical fruit punch.
“What is all of this about a coyote?” Heaven’s voice was high-pitched with frustration.
