Going Paul Bunyan on me, he gripped the ax firmly with both hands. “Back up,” he said, before swinging twice with two quickthwacks to scorethe trunk. He then picked up the saw and got to work. I could have done it faster myself, but being taken care of—that was the real magic. After I’d been alone for so long, it felt good to have a man taking me on sleigh rides and cutting down trees for me.
I took a closer look at the tree. “Are you sure? Is it too big?”
“I think it’s going to be extremely satisfying,” he said, mid-saw. Then he looked up. “Oh, are you talking about the tree?”
“Yes, I was referring to thetree.But in all seriousness, is it too tall for my house?”
“Well, it’s too late now. You’ve got yourself a big-ass tree.”
Five minutes later, the evening was over and we were back in the parking lot. As Tyrone loaded my tree into the truck bed, the woman who’d sold me the coconut water hurried up to us.
“Tiffany, I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you earlier! I just wanted to give you a hug. I know the holidays can be hard after losing someone.”
“Yes, I think of Aunt Mildred a lot this time of year,” I answered smoothly.
“Oh, I don’t mean Mildred. I know she was a pill.” She patted my hand. “You poor thing.” The woman wrapped me in a long, rib-crushing hug before scurrying away.
“Thank you,” I said, trying not to betray my confusion.
When Tyrone dropped me off at home with the Christmas tree a few minutes later, I lingered by the truck. I wanted to invite him in, but how could I? Not with a bloodthirsty baby vamp and my ex inside. They were the Marvel superheroes of cockblocking.
After Tyrone propped the tree next to the front door, I turned to face him.
“Thank you for the beautiful night,” I said. “I would invite you in, but…” I sighed. “Houseguests.”
“I get it.” He pressed a kiss to my lips that deepened into a promise of more to come, a kiss that shot tingles all the way to my fingers and toes. My thirst spiked. I wanted him in more ways than one. On tiptoes,I traced my tongue along his jugular with a soft moan.
“Down, girl,” Tyrone said with a chuckle. “Next time.”
I couldn’t wait. And that was the problem.
When the truck’s lights had disappeared down the road, I opened the door to find Vlad reading a book by the fireplace.
“What is this?” Vlad said at the sight of the tree. “Hasn’t he ever heard of flowers?”
I slumped onto the living room couch, exhausted and starving.
After tonight, one thing was clear: Vampires drink blood. The despair inside me was building to a dizzying level. The coconut water might be the highest vibrational food according to several websites, but it wasn’t taking the edge off. I had almost sunk my fangs into Santa at the Christmas fair. Heaven had nearly drained the city inspector. The coconut water experiment was a failure.
With grim determination, I headed to the kitchen and twisted the lid off a box of coconut water. It went down the drain with aglug glug glug.After the first two boxes, the rightness of my decision became clearer and clearer. Why was I drinking a beverage that smelled like sunshine, beach parties, and Jimmy Buffet?
But how could I live happily ever after as a vampire? Draining a virgin and then riding into the sunset—that’s not how it worked. Vampires didn’t marry Prince Charming. Vampires drained Prince Charming.
The more I turned over the predicament in my mind, the worse I felt. My vision blurred at the edges so I collapsed on a chair in the living room. I blinked hard and focused on a nutcracker on the mantel to stabilize myself. His grimace didn’t comfort me, but at least it was familiar. Breathe in. Breathe out. Grit your teeth and bite down on the hard nut of reality. Soldier on.
I didn’t even need to breathe. It was a vestigial behavior, three hundred years into undeath, and here I was practically hyperventilating. With no other ideas, I texted Dr. Rosetti. She had told me to contact her in case of an emergency.
Me:i think i need help.
Eleanor:Are you suicidal? If so, go straight to the emergency room.
Me:i’m already dead, so no. lol.
Me:i don’t want to drink blood anymore so i’ve been on a juice cleanse. but it’s not working
Eleanor:How long since you had something other than juice?
Me:since halloween
