Vlad ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I should get some pomade. I haven’t done my hair in the classic Dracula for a while.”
I tugged his hand back down and gave it a squeeze. “I like it how it is.” The curls had grown out a bit, making him look more relaxed than he actually was. It was nice.
A guy in an orange apron approached us as we stared at the vampire. He had writtenTimin Sharpie on his apron. “You want me to package him up for you?”
“No, thanks. We’re looking for something to get rid of bats?” I asked this supposed Tim.
“Ummm…We’ve got bat repellent.”
Tim schlepped to another aisle in his dirty jeans and end-of-the-day attitude while we Matrixed our way behind him. To my delight, he handed me a box that readBat magic. This felt like the elixir I’d always needed, rather than a bat extermination tool.
Vlad scoffed when he read the label.
“Don’t laugh,” I said. “It might work.”
“It won’t,” he said.
Inspiration struck and I asked, “But while I’m here, how about coyote repellent?” Not that I needed to repel a coyote I’d made up, but still, I could make a show for Mr. Jarvis’s benefit.
“Coyote repellent?” Tim laughed. “That’d be a shotgun. Try Cabela’s.”
I backed away a step, stumbling into a display of duct tape. One package fell and rolled across the floor slowly.
Vlad flashed a confused look in my direction. “I don’t think we have a coyote, darling.”
“We don’t,” I said. At that moment, I was glad we didn’t. At least I wouldn’t have to “repel” any coyotes.
I clutched the box of Bat Magic and told Tim, “Thank you, I think we have what we need.”
He pointed us toward the self-checkout lane.
Vlad looked at the self-checkout with skepticism. “Would you check us out?” Vlad and I were too old for self-checkout.
“I guess,” Tim said and ushered us to the only open lane.
As we headed back to the car, I started feeling hopeful again. I looked from Vlad, who was navigating around potholes in the parking lot. Heaven leapt out of the car to greet us.
Between the three of us, we might really fix up the house before the end of the year. All we needed was a little vampire magic.
Peering into my selfie camera, I applied my favorite blood-red lipstick and a dab of gloss to make my lips look wet. I’d already curled my hair and pulled on a soft mohair sweater in snow white, black leggings, and a ruby cameo brooch.
I was booked for my second attempt at a first date with Tyrone, and I was ready to become smoking hot Mrs. Claus with fangs.
As I finished my makeup, snow fell gently outside. It was the first snow since the night I’d arrived. This time, it felt like Christmas.
“Is it just me, or is that pin with a picture of someone’s grandma on it giving grandma vibes?” Heaven said. She was perched on the toilet seat painting her nails.
“According to the guy at the pawn shop, it’s a carving of an ‘anonymous woman,’ thank you very much.” It was relatable fashion.
Vlad chose that moment to poke his head into the bathroom. His gaze lingered on my date look.
“Tiffenie, you look…” He inhaled like he was trying to restrain himself. “Nice.”
“I’m going for more than nice, but thanks.”
“The brooch is very attractive and, dare I say, sexual. It draws the eyes to the décolletage.”
Heaven rolled her eyes. “You two are both, like, a thousand. Get aroom.”
