Jessica put her hand on his. “Whatever happened, I’m sure that Tiffany didn’t do it. This is an animal bite of some sort.”
“You’ve had a really bad night, but it’s not my fault,” I said.
After settling down for a moment, he said, “Okay, Miss Blair. I won’t plow over your inn tomorrow, but you need to fix several things if youhave any hope of keeping that place standing. Number one: that wiring. I can’t believe the chimney caught on fire before the wiring did.”
I nodded eagerly. “Of course.”
“Number two: You need to fix the porch and front entrance. The wood is rotted through, and it’s a danger to anyone entering the home.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Number three: You have a bat infestation. Whatever bit me will need to be euthanized for public health and safety.”
“It’s not like I have a mean dog,” I protested. “That coyote came out of nowhere.”
“A coyote?” He narrowed his eyes at me in suspicion. “My decision stands. I’m ordering a dangerous animal inspection of your property as a condition of this agreement. If you have any intention of opening that bed-and-breakfast to the public, you better get rid of everything that bites.”
I held back a gasp at his phrasing.
“It needs to be done by December 31. I’ll schedule an inspection for that day, eight a.m. sharp.”
A morning inspection wasn’t going to work, but I’d deal with that later. I had my marching orders: Fix the house or the jig was up.
Vlad found me sitting in crash position with my head between my knees on the stairs. I wasn’t crashing a car, but rather my hopes and dreams.
Just a couple of hours ago, Wayne Jarvis whisper-yelled that he was going to tear my piece-of-shit house down as soon as he could while two people taped a seeping neck wound shut. Heaven was crying in her bed, inconsolable about the whole thing.
It was all so much.
Vlad sat down next to me. For once I let myself lean into him and he rubbed slow, soothing circles across my back.
“I’m sorry I locked you in your coffin,” I said softly. “That was just to get back at you for threatening to throw me in the trunk. Plus, were you really going to be nice to my date?”
“No, but I could have helped with the inspector.”
“By finishing him off?” I laughed at the absurdity.
All of our disagreements lurked just below the surface. Instead of bringing them out, we sat in silence.
“It’s the coconut water,” he said in a careful voice. “She’s too thirsty.”
“She’s brand-new. Uncontrolled appetites are to be expected.” But he was right. More time had passed than I had realized. “How long does this bloodlust last?”
“On coconut water, who knows?”
My mouth watered at the smell of his “ethically sourced” virgin blood, but I wasn’t ready to give up my vegan dreams.
There were so many rules. Mortals who receive the Dark Gift must be beautiful. No vampire may ever reveal his true nature. No vampire may reveal his location. Let the money come to me. Every day is your birthday. The electricity must be up to code. Don’t let your porch rot off. Pay your taxes. Get your property into compliance by December 31 or we’ll take a wrecking ball to your brand-new house. Learn how to make friends, because that’s apparently your real problem.
Adulting was a lot.
Vlad cut through my spiral with planning. “Let’s go to Home Depot and get supplies. The inspector was right about all those problems. We really do need to fix this place.”
“We?” I asked. “I thought you were here to drag me away?”
“I was never planning on dragging you off. It went sideways when we started arguing about the internet and virgins.” He shook his head. “I hate to say it, but that blood is only twenty percent virgin and resulted in zero deaths. Vampires aren’t what we used to be.”
I laughed. “Why does every argument spiral like that?”
