Dr. Rosetti made another note. “What made you start this diet?”
“It’s an ethical thing. I don’t want anything to die for me to eat.”
She nodded. “Interesting choice for a vampire.”
“Tell me about it. Am I forsaking the core elements of what makes memeor am I just on a diet?”
“Tiffany, when you say you’re a vampire, are you saying you don’t feel like you’re a part of this world?”
“Yes. Absolutely.” Vampires didn’t belong anywhere, except for maybe Reddit forums.
“Where do you think this feeling of existential loneliness, of separateness, comes from?”
“From being a vampire. I am separate. But lonely—I wouldn’t go that far.” What was loneliness even? “I see people. I live with Heaven. Up until recently, I worked as a receptionist at a plasma donation place.”
“Loneliness is a state of mind. You’ve heard of being alone in a crowd?”
“Yes.” I didn’t add that it sounded like something someone who went to therapy would say.
“There is a loneliness epidemic in this country. Did you know that?”
“Like the plague?” My husband and child had died of actual plague.
“Sort of. A lot of people are alone. It has only gotten worse with social media.” Dr. Rosetti glanced out the window. You could just barely see the glimmer of the tavern’s lights. “In this social media age, we’re both more connected and more disconnected than ever. Loneliness is the kind of hurt that bleeds you slowly rather than all at once.”
I didn’t want to hear it. “It’s not the Black Death or anything. I mean, let’s be honest.”
She smiled like she was humoring me.
“Plague is no joke,” I said. “These days people are alive long enough to be truly miserable. That’s called progress, I think.”
“Very funny, Tiffany. But really, when you describe yourself as a vampire, I don’t think you’re alone. A lot of people feel as if they exist in the shadows, not participating in life. Social media has only intensified that.”
Did they, though?
“Our time is almost up, but if you come back, I will help you learn how to make friends. Like anything, it’s a skill.”
I sighed. This woman didn’t see me at all. I told her I was a vampire, and she came away withTiffany is lonely.
“Thank you, Dr. Rosetti. It was very nice talking to you.” Not.
“I will save this time for you next week.”
“Thank you, but I’m good. I think I’m much more mentally healthy than I even realized.”
“I’m not going anywhere if you change your mind.”
I waved and smiled. Goodbye forever, Dr. Rosetti.
Dr. Rosetti must’ve never met a lonely person if she thought that’s what I was. I wasn’t lonely. I was a vampire. Lonely people suffered from acute melancholy and didn’t have friends. I had friends. All those bridesmaid dresses were proof.
Back in the hearse, I texted Heaven.
Me:heaven, we’re friends, right?
She responded with a laughing-crying emoji.
My hand slipped along the satin pantsuit I’d worn at Emily’s wedding. Emily had been my friend. It had been a long time, but I could check in with a quick text, just a casual “hey, Em, how’ve things been?”
