Luckily, I had bought the identity nine years ago. That meant no one had seen her in at least that long. A lot could change in a decade.
I pulled up to the Valentine Bed-and-Breakfast ten minutes later. Just like in the pictures, an adorable off-kilter, heart-shaped sign marked the spot.
Maple Lane, which was less of a lane and more of a scenic rural highway, separated my new abode from Tyrone’s farm, which boasted rows upon rows of pine trees and a cozy log cabin. A painted wooden sign the size of a billboard announced it asSt. Nicholas farms and Christmas fair. Tyrone’s truck was already parked in front of the house.
My new home might be a little dilapidated, with peeling paint and signs of rot, but if you squinted it was beautiful. It was situated at the top of a gentle rise at the end of a long driveway with a wide, welcoming porch.
The hearse only made it halfway up the icy drive before the wheels started spinning. I revved the engine, and the wheels spun harder. We’d made it all but the last hundred feet.
There was no delaying; I had to let Heaven out. What should I say? “Congratulations, you’re a vampire!” didn’t seem to cover it.
I unlocked the lid to her casket and braced myself.
The lid creaked open, and she sat bolt upright, gripping the sides of the coffin. “What the—”
She looked around at the snowy, barren landscape. “Tiffenie?” she said, her tone nothing but a question.
“Good evening, sweetie.”
At the wordsweetieshe gave me a weird look. “What’s going on?”
“Well…we had to leave town in a hurry.”
Heaven looked at me in confusion. “Where’s Gemma?”
“Remember, you broke up.”
She flashed a defiant, I’m-broken-up-when-I-say-I’m-broken-up expression.
“And then you fell asleep on my couch…” I spoke slowly and calmly to help her process the news.
“That doesn’t explain”—she gestured at everything—“any of this!” I could see the panic settling in as she realized we were far, far from LA.
When I woke up as a vampire for the first time, I’d been in a castle. Vlad had been there. “Hello, dumpling,” he’d said. “How do you feel?” He’d had several virgins ready to quench my thirst.
“Where the fuck am I?” Heaven said, wide-eyed, clearly taking in the snow, which was collecting in miniature drifts on her false lashes.
“Before we talk, let me get you something to drink.” I had to crawl all the way into the hearse to get to the coconut water. “Hang on,” I called. “I’m sure you must be thirsty.”
She stared at the proffered coconut water like Cat had just gifted her with a dead mouse. “A Kirkland Organic Coconut Water”—she emphasized the name like it was a curse— “is not going to help this situation.”
“Actually, I think it might…” I trailed off at the look on her face. “You know how I inherited a bed-and-breakfast…”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, ta-da!” I gestured to the hulking home outlined against the night sky. There wasn’t a single light on in the house. “Remember how you wanted to come with me?”
She looked down at her feet. “Why am I not…cold? I’m low-key a little freaked-out right now,” she said, sounding more on the high-key end of the spectrum. She was still in her Funshine Bear shirt and sweatpants, her feet in nothing but slippers.
“Well, you know our arrangement. I drink a little and you get my parking space…”
“Come again?” Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“Well, I drank a little too much and…” I held up my thumb and forefinger to emphasize how little.
“What?” Her head whipped up, and her mouth dropped open. “You what?”
“It was an accident.”
