Ouch!Was this really how she felt? Or was she simply reacting to the Abby drama that had gone down at Northern Exposure? Either way she was taking backward steps away from him. And it hurt like hell.
He threw his hands in the air. “What’s going on here, Sophia? It’s like you’re pulling away from me as we speak.”He lifted her chin up so their eyes could meet and connect. “Stay with me, Sophia. I know you’ve been hurt before. So have I. I’m not going to do that to you. To us.”
Sophia was chewing on her lip. “But that’s not something you can promise me,” Sophia said, her voice cracking. “I can’t fault you for that, but I don’t want to be in that dark place again, Caleb.”
“Why are you thinking the worst?” he pressed. It was as if seeing Abby had opened up a host of problems that he hadn’t even seen coming. “Things got uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to change what we have. What we are to each other.”
“This isn’t all your fault. I went into this with my eyes wide open, and I just think I’m not ready to take all of this on.”
“Sophia,” Caleb said, knowing she was right about not making promises. People hurt the ones they loved all the time in relationships despite their best intentions. He wasn’t going to push the point. Caleb sensed Sophia was at a breaking point, close to tumbling over the edge. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Caleb understood that he needed to give her time and a little bit of distance. Hopefully, she would realize that they were worth fighting for.
“Caleb, I need to head back to work for a meeting,” she said. Sophia headed inside and grabbed her sandwich, then strode toward the parking lot without sparing him another glance.
As he watched her walk away from him, he was hit by a huge realization. The feeling crashed over him in unrelenting waves. He was head over heels in love with Sophia.
Maybe he should have told her and somehow found a way to convince her that Abby was his past and she was his future. But how could he say that to her when she’d been soclosed off to listening to him? He was human, after all. He didn’t want to be rejected by the woman he adored.
The best he could do at this moment was give Sophia some space until she was ready to hear him out. In the meantime, Caleb worried that his heart might just shatter all over again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
As Sophia drove away from Sam’s, tears streamed down her face. Although she had spoken her truths, she wasn’t sure if she’d been fair to Caleb. Just because she had fallen in love with him didn’t mean he had to feel the same way or profess his undying love for her. Even though secretly she’d been looking for something that would cement her position in his life, he’d stopped short of making a commitment to her. Maybe she was being ridiculous, but her heart was on the line here.
Sophia had felt her breathing getting choppy during her talk with Caleb. The idea of Caleb still being in love with Abby had been painful to discuss with him, but she was proud of herself for being honest about her suspicions. If heartache was coming her way, she was heading it off at the pass. Better to walk away from Caleb than to get dumped or blindsided.
Who was she kidding? Not having him in her life would be its own circle of hell. Just driving away from him caused her stomach to clench up and her palms to moisten. Shemissed him already. It felt as if she’d closed a door on him, and it caused a painful twisting sensation in the region of her heart.
Caleb had accused her of putting up a wall between them. He had been very intuitive about her feelings. She needed to protect herself in a way she had failed to do with Donny. Otherwise, she would be in a world of hurt. She’d been foolish to get wrapped up in a romance with Caleb. He was like a comet flashing through orbit at the speed of light. Holding on to someone like that was near impossible.
After she headed into the Yukon Cider headquarters, Sophia made her way toward the conference room, telling herself to stay strong. What doesn’t kill you makes one stronger, right? She’d loved and lost before. Somehow she would get through this.
She needed to focus on her career and building a life worthy of her daughter. Now that Donny no longer wanted joint custody, she could breathe a little easier on the home front, but she still had to keep her eyes on what mattered most. And that was Lily. She didn’t want to get her heart broken again if Caleb decided to leave town. Even if it turned out that he wasn’t interested in reuniting with Abby, Caleb was now in a perfect position to launch an acting career, one that would take him far away from Alaska and ownership of Yukon Cider.
“Sophia!” Hattie’s voice exploded in the small conference room. “Good afternoon.”
“Hi there, Hattie,” Sophia said warmly. Seeing Hattie always made her feel joyful, even in the middle of heartache. She couldn’t help but notice the oxygen machine Hattie was walking around with and the raspy sound of her voice. In her terminally ill state such things were to be expected, but they were shocking nevertheless.
“I can’t wait to go over some exciting news with you,” Hattie said as she sat down at the head of the table in a plush leather chair.
Sophia clapped her hands together. Now was the perfect time to hear good news.
“I’m intrigued. Don’t keep me in suspense,” Sophia said. “Did you and Jacques run off to Vegas and tie the knot?” Although she was teasing, Sophia wouldn’t put it past Hattie to do the unexpected. YOLO was her mantra, after all.
The sound of Hattie’s tinkling laughter filled the air. “No, I didn’t, but why didn’t I think of that? It would certainly make everyone’s jaw drop.”
“Gotta keep ’em guessing,” Sophia said, winking at Hattie.
Hattie splayed her gnarled hands on the table. “Sophia, I called our meeting today to congratulate you on your work on the campaign. It’s been a smashing success. Not only did the advertisement go viral, but my grandson is making a name for himself. And this time it’s in a good way.”
“That’s exciting, Hattie. I had a lot of fun shooting Caleb, and I’m not at all surprised that people responded to him the way they have,” Sophia said. “It’s not just his looks, as I’m sure you know. He films really well, which made my job easy. And his personality pops.”
Hattie’s gaze narrowed as she looked at her. “It warms my heart to hear you speak so well of him. He’s a very special young man.”
“He is,” Sophia conceded. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like him.” And she knew that she never would again. Her heart constricted just thinking about Caleb.
Hattie drummed her fingers on the table, making a staccato sound. “There’s an opportunity to do a tour featuring Caleb. It would be a great chance to increase our visibility in markets that historically haven’t been purchasing our ciders.”
“That’s a really great idea. Have you told Caleb?” He would be delighted at the idea of hitting the road to rep Yukon Cider.
