True knew right away that something was going on with Xavier. He wasn’t acting like his usual self with her. Ever since he had arrived at the bowling venue, he had barely said two words to her. He’d been hanging out with Jaylen and their team, bowling, and carefully avoiding her. Honestly, she had no idea what she’d done wrong, but she was hoping his mood would change by the end of the night. Normally they had so much fun together. She felt a disconnect between them that seemed to have come out of nowhere.
His attitude scared her a little bit, because it reminded her of Garrett and how his interest in her had changed so rapidly. Just the thought of going down that road again made her feel uneasy.No, she reminded herself. Xavier was different. He wasn’t a little boy playing games. He was a man, one she had fallen head over heels in love with. And he cared for her, was falling in love. Surely that wasn’t something that could shift so easily.
She wanted to pick Xavier’s brain tonight about Northern Exposure. Hattie hadn’t yet circled back to her about herpitch, and she was wondering if she should draft a written proposal and send it to Hattie. Xavier had been so encouraging about her plans all the times they had discussed Northern Exposure. He made her feel that she could do anything. Be anything she wanted. A veritable Wonder Woman!
Maybe something had happened that she didn’t know about. Was his mother all right? Hattie? Maybe someone back in Arizona.
Now she just had to put her big-girl panties on and pull Xavier aside so they could talk. Just days ago they were enjoying the experience of a lifetime at Klondike Adventures. Even though he hadn’t said the words to her, True believed he was falling in love, if he hadn’t already fallen as she had. Was it all in her head? How could she have gotten everything so wrong?
True found a quiet moment to approach Xavier when he wasn’t surrounded by kids. She had watched him from a distance, enjoying the easy rapport he had with the Mavericks and the parents. Honestly, there wasn’t a single person he came across who wasn’t charmed by Xavier, including herself.
She tugged on his sleeve, her breath catching when he turned around to face her. He was still the finest man in all of Alaska with his chiseled features and rugged frame. “Hey, I haven’t had a moment alone with you all night. Is everything all right?” She didn’t see the point in dancing around the issue. Xavier was giving off unapproachable vibes, which didn’t gel with his personality. From the first day they’d met at the tavern, he had been inviting and friendly, even after the ghost pepper incident.
“Hey, True. I’m good,” he said, his expression shuttered. His eyes weren’t emitting any warmth. He was greeting her like an acquaintance, not someone he cared about.
So she hadn’t been imagining things. Something had shifted between them.
Hmm. He was giving off so much frost, it felt like an arctic storm had passed through Moose Falls.
“What’s going on? You seem really distant.” She wasn’t going to play coy. If past experience had taught her anything, she’d learned to speak her mind so she didn’t have any regrets later.
“I just have a lot on my mind, to be honest.” He sounded so sad, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.
Maybe he was worried about Hattie or reconnecting with his father. Was she being too hard on him? Too insensitive? The world didn’t revolve around her, and there could be dozens of things he was worried about. Real-world problems that had nothing to do with her.
“I’m sorry, but you can talk to me about anything, Xavier. I’m here to listen, the same way you’re always here for me.” She was watching him carefully to see his response. True detected a glimmer of a reaction. Maybe her words were getting through to him. “Matter of fact, I wanted to get your advice about the tavern. I haven’t heard back from Hattie yet after our meeting.”
True watched as Xavier’s mouth hardened right before her eyes. “Just so you know, Hattie isn’t leaving us Northern Exposure. It’s going to Red.” There was no mistaking the terse tone of his voice.
Why was he making a point of telling her this? And why hadn’t Hattie told her when they met up? “I’m so confused. You didn’t mention that to me when I told you that I wanted to buy the tavern.”
“Hattie wanted the terms of our contract to be confidential, so I respected that. Matter of fact, I remember telling you that I couldn’t talk about Hattie’s plans, and I reallyshouldn’t have told you this information about the tavern.” He let out a sigh. “Just keep it under wraps, please. I’m only telling you so you know who to focus your energies on. And it’s not me.”
There was a sharpness to his voice she’d never heard before. He was angry at her! She could feel it vibrating in his voice. His jaw was clenched so tightly, she thought it might snap.
His anger was why the vibe between them had been so off. But she had no idea why or what it was all about. Tension crackled in the air between them. She placed a hand on her hip. “And you’re angry at me about wanting to buy the tavern?”
He made a face. “I’m just not a fan of being used.”
Her jaw almost hit the floor. “You cannot be serious,” she said, her throat feeling as dry as sandpaper. “I don’t know where all this is coming from,” she said, sounding as confused as she felt.
True couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This wasn’t the Xavier she knew and loved. What had gotten into him? She hadn’t done a single thing to deserve such an accusation.
“Honestly, I’m not even sure at the moment if I’m sticking around Moose Falls. There’s an opportunity that’s come up in California that would be really great for my football career. I fly out in a few days to be interviewed.”
His career? She’d thought he had accepted that his football career was over. From the sound of it, Xavier was still clinging to that NFL lifestyle and making moves to get out of Dodge.
“But Hattie will be so sad if you leave. And what about the Mavericks?”And so will I, she wanted to say, but a huge lump was sitting in her throat. Hattie deserved to have all three of her grandsons back in Moose Falls with her. And Jaylen and his teammates would be devastated. How couldXavier even consider doing this? On some level she recognized that he had the right to make his own life choices, but the ripples of his decision would affect so many people.
She noticed his jaw tremble as he spoke. “Nothing was guaranteed. No promises were made about permanently staying in Alaska.”
“And what about us?” she asked, pushing the words out of her mouth.
Xavier looked away from her. “I just can’t see us doing long distance, True. It would be too hard.”
As much as this was hurting her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was running away from their relationship. Nothing made sense. He was acting like a wounded animal trying to protect himself.
“You’re putting up imaginary roadblocks, Xavier. I’ve only ever wanted to be with you for you. I never tried to use you. Not once.” She took a deep breath. “I know what it’s like to feel as if you can’t risk putting down your walls. It’s scary to believe in people. But I believe in you, Xavier. I love—”
