“Don’t worry. Most of your antics happened after we left the venue.”
True let out a squeak. “Antics? There were antics?”
He slowly nodded. “Nothing too wild, but you did howl at the moon. You had me pull your vehicle over so you could do it. And you suggested skinny-dipping in the lake.”
Yikes. They would have frozen their buns off and gotten hypothermia. Good thing one of them had been able to make good decisions.
She covered her face with her hands. “I really don’t want to do a walk of shame tomorrow at work. My reputation around town is pretty spotless. Not that I should care about what other people think, but I do,” she admitted, feeling sheepish. She hated that she did care about town gossip and her reputation. She wasn’t a sheep or a follower. And she truly believed in living life without inhibitions. Carpe diem! On the other hand, True didn’t want to lose all the hard-earned respect she had cultivated in Moose Falls.
“You’re not alone in feeling that way. As a professional football player in the public eye, I spent a lot of time worrying about what everyone thought about me. To be honest, it felt overwhelming at times,” he admitted.
“I can imagine,” she murmured. She wanted to ask him about the fallout from his injury and the engagement that crashed and burned, but she didn’t want to seem like she was prying. Maybe if their relationship continued, he would feel comfortable sharing that type of information with her.
“But don’t worry, I’m the only one who witnessed your bad-girl side.” Another smirk tugged at his lips.
True crossed her hands prayerfully. “Oh, thank God for small mercies.”
Xavier sank onto the bed. “I know it was a hard anniversary, True. Losing your parents was a gut punch.” He reached out and patted her blanket-covered leg. “It’s okay that you wanted to escape reality last night. Just as long as you don’t make it a habit.”
“I won’t. I wouldn’t. Seriously, even though I run a tavern, I don’t drink. That’s probably why it hit me so hard.” She let out the sigh she’d been holding in for the last few days. “At first I thought these anniversaries would get easier, that I would get used to not having them around. But there’s still this ache inside me that never goes away. And now I’m afraid it never will.”
Xavier bit down on his lower lip. “The thing is, I’ve never had to deal with that type of loss. That soul-sucking sort of devastation. But when my dad pretty much walked out of our lives, it was a massive heartbreak. For a long time, I pretended that I was okay with it, because if I admitted that it broke me, my brothers might not have survived the heartache. And my mom too. She was so busy trying to make a life for us as a single mom, I couldn’t place my burden on her shoulders.”
“But you were a little kid,” True said in a soft voice. “That must’ve been agonizing.”
“A kid who had to grow up fast.” His eyes mirrored his emotions, giving True a real sense of what he’d been through.
Just thinking about a pint-size version of Xavier grappling with his father’s desertion caused her to tear up. As much as Jaylen’s childhood had been impacted by the tragic loss of their parents, at least he would always know that they had always been there for him.
“That’s not fair. I try to make sure that despite all he’s lost, Jaylen has a robust childhood.”
Xavier nodded. “It wasn’t all bad. I had an amazing mom. Caleb and Landon are still my best friends even when they’re working my last nerves. And I ended up finding my calling at an early age with football. That was a gift.”
True wanted so badly to ask him what his calling was, now that his football career was over, but she held hertongue. Something about the way he spoke about his career made her think it wasn’t over. At least not for Xavier. He was still wrapped up in his identity as a football player. She sympathized with how difficult it must be for him to start over after losing it all.
“Why don’t you get dressed and meet me in the kitchen?” Xavier suggested. “You’re about to have the best omelet of your life.”
“Promises, promises,” True murmured as she watched Xavier walk out of her bedroom. She took a moment to fan herself after noting that Xavier looked just as good walking away as he did coming toward her. She stood and stretched before making her way to the bathroom for a quick shower. As the hot water washed over her, True closed her eyes and basked in the sensation. Despite the sadness of yesterday’s anniversary, she felt happy. She hadn’t dealt with her pain in the best way, but thankfully Xavier had stayed by her side. He was a natural protector, which was something they had in common. Her heart was opening like a flower in springtime. Although she didn’t want to allow herself to hope due to her past romantic disappointment, she had a feeling that Xavier was something special.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The smell of cheese, onions, and eggs hung in the air as True walked into her kitchen. Xavier was standing by the stove with his sleeves rolled up. His arms were muscular and strong. He was humming a familiar tune as he cooked up a storm. She placed her coffee cup on the counter, then walked over toward Xavier.
“Smells good. Can I help?” True asked, peering over his shoulder to get a peek at his culinary delights.
“No, you cannot. Bring over a plate. It’s all done. Breakfast is ready,” Xavier said, nodding in the direction of the plates he’d placed on the table. True grabbed both plates and made a beeline to the stove. Xavier placed the omelet and hash browns on both plates. She placed them down on the table, sitting back down and waiting for Xavier to join her.
Within seconds he’d made his way over to the butcher-block table with two glasses and a bottle of orange juice. He’d thought of everything, True realized. She could get used to this.
“Whoa. That is one incredible view,” Xavier said as helooked out the bay window right next to the kitchen table. He sank into the seat across from her, but his gaze was focused on the magnificent mountains.
“That view was the main reason my folks bought this house. They couldn’t believe an Alaskan mountain view could be right on their property.” True cast her gaze at the view of the mountains. It truly never got old. “My mother used to say it was the perfect way to greet the day.”
“I can see why they loved it.” He turned toward her. “And why you stayed on here after you lost them.”
“I was trying to honor the life my parents chose for us, and I didn’t want to uproot my brother after such a catastrophic loss,” she explained. “It proved to be the best decision. It wasn’t just a house. It’s always been a home. A haven for us.” Just saying those words out loud choked her up. Xavier was so easy to talk to. She spilled her guts to him every time they were together. That was rare for her. She wasn’t a person who easily trusted others with her closely guarded emotions.
Xavier took a pause on eating to respond. “When we went to my dad’s house for dinner, I had that same feeling about our childhood home. Even though things got chaotic at times when we were kids, there was a lot of love in that house. After all these years, I still felt that love. It was in every nook and cranny.”
