“Want to talk about it? I’m a good listener,” Xavier said, his voice soft and tender. She wasn’t sure how he did it, but he made his voice sound like a caress.
A ragged sigh slipped past her lips. “It’s the anniversary of my parents’ plane crash. They’ve been gone for seven years. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, and then at others, it seems like an eternity since I’ve seen them, talked to them, been held by them.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how bad that must feel.”
“It feels like someone keeps jabbing me in the center of my heart with something sharp.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “Everyone says the pain will lessen, but it just morphs into another type of pain. Not less, just different.”
He was listening to her with a single-minded focus that endeared him to her. Xavier wasn’t phoning it in. He truly seemed to care.
“It’s funny, because Jaylen was only two years old, but he’s felt the loss acutely. Even though they say kids that age don’t hold on to memories, Jaylen remembers them. It’s uncanny how he can recall details. How they looked. The things we did. Songs they sang.”
“Love imprints itself on you.”
Bam!His words resonated so deeply with her. That was exactly how she felt about her parents. They had been so special and loving and devoted. The brand of love they hadheaped upon their children had been epic. And their lives being cut short had always seemed like a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.
She had surprised herself by telling Xavier about the devastating event that had shaped her life. The loss of her parents wasn’t something she talked about. Everyone in Moose Falls knew about the tragedy already and respected her boundaries. Just reflecting on the plane crash felt traumatizing. Although she was struggling on this sad anniversary, Xavier was making the situation better simply by being with her and listening. Speaking the words out loud served as a release after holding it in for such a long time.
True took a steadying breath. A few more hours and this awful day would be done, and she wouldn’t have to mark this date for another year. She just had to find a way to make it through the rest of the night.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Northern Exposure was definitely living up to the hype, Xavier thought as he looked around the tavern. True and company had really pulled off a great event. They had managed to incorporate three great facets: incredible food, lively music, and delightful drinks. The event spotlighted Yukon Cider’s newest line of products, which was an important element of promotion.
“I think I’m going to test out the limited edition blackberry cider,” True told him, grabbing one from the server as he made the rounds with the complimentary drinks. “Hattie said the flavor was her idea and based on her childhood memories of summers in Alaska.”
“I’m right there with you.” He winked at her. “This is definitely work-related research.”
True gingerly sipped on the hard cider, then smiled. “I like this one.”
After a moment, she said, “You know what’s funny? I very rarely drink, even though I manage a tavern and promote the Yukon Cider brands. But tonight I wanted to feel no pain.”
“Is it working?” he asked, genuinely curious. He’d enjoyed his share of drinks in his clubbing days, but he had never done so in order to block out pain. And although True seemed to be marking this particular date, he imagined the loss resonated every day as she went about the business of living her life.
“Not really,” she admitted with a shrug. “I’m still thinking about them and how unfair life is. I know it’s a crappy thing to think, but why them? Why my parents? They were good people.”
“It’s normal to question such a tremendous loss, True. It would be strange if you didn’t ask. If it makes you feel better, I used to ask why my parents had to split up.”
“But you were a kid.”
“Nah, this was just last year,” he said, hoping the joke would land. When he saw a smile tugging at her lips before morphing into a full-fledged grin, triumph flared inside him. If only for this moment, he’d given her a sliver of joy.
“You crack me up,” True said, shaking her head.
He was watching True carefully. Since he knew she wasn’t a social drinker, these hard ciders might hit her like a ton of bricks even if she consumed just a few of them. He didn’t want to treat her as if she weren’t a fully grown and capable adult, but at the same time, she was in a vulnerable state.
Xavier loved watching her in action now that she was off the clock and the assistant manager had taken over. There was a huge difference in her demeanor when she wasn’t working versus on the clock. His gaze trailed her as she flitted around the tavern, chatting up old friends and greeting people. They took another spin on the dance floor, then hung out with his brothers for a bit. True was lively and engaging, even though he knew she was hurting. When she spottedRed, True gently pushed him in his father’s direction, letting him know none too subtly that they needed to talk.
“Hey, Red,” Xavier said, walking up beside him at the bar. “How’s it going?”
“Hey, Xavier. I saw you earlier on the dance floor, but I didn’t want to be a third wheel. The two of you look great together, by the way.”
“Thanks. True would pretty much make anyone look great next to her.”
“Well, you look happy. It looks good on you.”
Being with True made him feel joyful. His father was right about that, but he didn’t want people in Moose Falls to immediately pair them off and put pressure on them as a couple.
“We’re just getting to know each other right now. Taking it slow.”
