She took a step away from him. “You’re not hearing me. I don’t want that. We don’t want the same things, Nick. You’re meant for all that. I’m not.”
“Harlow. Please,” Nick said, his voice breaking. “Don’t do this.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
Fear was leading her now. Buying into happily ever after with Nick was too scary. If it didn’t work out between them she would be gutted. Losing Nick down the road would be far more agonizing than if she ended things now. Harlow knew she was protecting herself. She’d done this hundreds of times ever since she was a child. But this was by far the most painful, because it meant she wouldn’t have Nick in her life.
She could see the shattered expression etched on his face. His eyes were devoid of their usual light and his shoulders were slightly slumped. His body shuddered. All because of her. He took a few steps away from her, slowly shaking his head as he did so.
“Goodbye, Harlow,” Nick said as he walked down the beach and away from her.
Harlow tore her eyes away from Nick. Her words had ravaged him. She hated herself for hurting him. Of all people, Nick didn’t deserve it.
Nick.Sweet, gorgeous, wonderful Nick.What was she going to do without his corny jokes and his cooking lessons? Who would hold hands with her now or lift her spirits when she was down?
Harlow sniffed back her tears. She’d made the right decision, as difficult as it had been. Or at least that’s what she was trying to tell herself. It would hurt less this way to know she’d let him go so he could find someone else to wholeheartedly love him. Right now she needed to find a way to move on from Nick, even as her heart was aching.
Chapter Twenty-Two
For the next few days, Nick wasn’t sure if he was coming or going. He felt like one of the zombies from his favorite television show,The Walking Dead. Miles sensed something was up with him, and Nick knew it was only a matter of time before he would have to tell his son he and Harlow were over. Miles liked Harlow. The two had really bonded over taking care of Zeus, stuffed-crust pizza, and football games. Once he’d been reassured by Nick that Harlow could never take his place, Miles had accepted her with open arms. And although neither one would admit it, Nick was convinced that they had hashed things out in private.
Nick had no one to blame but himself. Harlow hadn’t made him any promises. His heart had led him to believe that she’d fallen in love with him. He’d been living in this fantasy world where he had imagined Harlow giving up her life in Seattle to make Mistletoe her home with him and Miles at the center of it all. Maybe it wasn’t fair of him to think that way, but it had almost seemed as if the rug had been pulled out from underneath him. But he’d moved on from that way of looking at the situation. Love wasn’t a right. He couldn’t demand that of Harlow, no matter how much this hurt.
Love wasn’t for the faint of heart—a lesson he was now learning.
“Why hasn’t Harlow come over? Maybe we can go to her house,” Miles suggested, dragging Nick out of his thoughts.
Ugh. He’d known Miles would bring up Harlow sooner or later. He had to tell him the truth about their breakup.
He sat down on the front stoop next to his son. “Hey, Miles. We probably won’t be seeing that much of Harlow other than at Zeus’s appointments.”
Miles looked up at him with wide eyes. “Why?”
“We broke up,” he said, feeling a pang in the region of his heart as he said the words out loud. When would it get easier to talk about it? At the moment, it was still uncomfortable to put it out there in the universe. He didn’t want it to be his reality, but it was.
“You did? But I thought you really, really liked each other. That’s the way it seemed.”
“We did. I did.” He let out a sigh. “I can’t speak for her, but I haven’t liked anyone as much since your mom,” he confessed.
“Is it my fault?” Miles asked, lips quivering.
Nick ran his hand over his son’s short-cropped Afro. Miles looked distraught. “Of course not, buddy. Why would you think that?”
His son let out a huff of air. “I wasn’t so nice to Harlow. Maybe she thought I would be too much to deal with down the road if you two stuck together.”
“No, buddy. She didn’t think that. Her decision was about her not sticking around Mistletoe, Miles. She’s going to be heading back to Seattle after her term is up at Paws. Harlow didn’t want to complicate things by being in a relationship.”
“Couldn’t you convince her to stay?” Miles’s eyes were as wide as an owl’s.
“I tried,” he admitted. “That’s not what she wants, and I have to accept that. Even though it hurts knowing she’s not going to be a part of our lives moving forward, I do want her to be happy. She deserves it.” After enduring so much pain and loss in her childhood, Harlow should have joy in her life.
“Even if it’s with someone else?”
Ugh. Sucker punch to the gut.Nick didn’t even want to think about Harlow finding love with anyone but him. Their breakup was too fresh and the wounds were still raw and open.
“Yep. Even if it’s with someone else,” he answered, forcing the words out of his mouth. He wasn’t even certain if he was lying or telling the truth. His mouth felt like it was filled with sawdust. Who was he trying to kid? Loving someone did mean you wanted the best for them, but it would be pure torture to see her walking around Mistletoe with some other dude.
Buck up, he reminded himself. All was fair in love and war.
