He turned toward her at the sound of her voice, then greeted her with a sizzling kiss on the lips. Harlow eagerly returned the kiss, matching his intensity measure for measure. The chemistry between them had always been fiery. This time was no exception. It was almost as if their time apart had added an extra level of passion. Light and easy, she reminded herself. Stick to your goal of being in an uncomplicated relationship.
“I missed you,” he said, looking her over with appreciative eyes.
“Me too,” she murmured. “First, I want to thank you for whatever you did to stem the tide of those rumors. Half of Mistletoe sent gifts to me. And I know you must have arranged the visit, but Gillian brought Elvis in for a wellness checkup. It was fairly shocking.”
Nick didn’t appear surprised at all. He simply nodded his head as she spoke. “I figured that would be a surefire way to win back the town’s confidence. If Gillian still takes Elvis to see you, most people will realize that the rumors aren’t true. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Gillian accused you of improper care.” He made a face. “Stories tend to get altered as they spread.”
Harlow made an annoyed sound with her lips. “It was really above and beyond of you.”
Nick played with one of her curls, wrapping it around his finger. “It was done with love. Plain and simple.”
Bam.Nick had just dropped theLword, and she had no idea what it meant.
Love. As in love with her love?
She took a step away from him, fighting the urge to flee. Harlow couldn’t even look Nick in the eyes. She hadn’t been expecting this, and she had no defenses against his declaration.
“Harlow, stay with me,” he said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just a big believer in speaking what’s on my mind. And you’re in my thoughts all the time. At night. In the daytime. When I brush my teeth in the morning. It’s all you.”
For a few solid minutes, she didn’t say a word. She wasn’t ready for this. She hadn’t seen this coming. Not this soon!
“I’m sorry. There’s just been so much going on. I’ve been grieving the loss of my mother, Nick. I know that might sound strange, but we can’t deny the fact that she’s fading away from us. There’s no hope of her being cured.” She ran a shaky hand through her hair. “This wasn’t supposed to be anything serious.” She buried her face in her hands. “We weren’t supposed to be using theLword.”
“According to who? I don’t remember getting that memo.” There was a layer of irritation laced in Nick’s voice. He sounded upset. “There’s no plan for falling in love. Sometimes it just happens.”
He was right to dispute her. She hadn’t said those exact words to him. And now he’d been blindsided. He had fallen in love with her. It was the very last thing she wanted.
“Everything between us has been wonderful. I’ve never felt so drawn to someone.”
Nick’s jawline hardened. “But? I can hear abutcoming.”
“But I’m feeling overwhelmed. With everything. And everyone.” A slow hiss-like sigh escaped her lips.
Nick’s eyes widened. He reached out and placed his hand on the side of her neck. He gazed deeply into her eyes. “Things happen, Harlow. Feelings grow. It’s okay to go where your feelings lead you. You don’t need to be afraid. I’m never going to hurt you.”
But she was afraid. Terrified. How could she not be? This was everything she’d spent her life avoiding. Intimacy. Closeness. Love. She didn’t deserve Nick. How could she trust in what she’d been building with him when it was only a matter of time before he came to that realization too? How could she trust herself to unconditionally love someone like Nick, when she’d never once had a successful relationship?
She fiercely shook her head. “Nick, I’m not staying in Mistletoe. My work agreement is only for a year. After that I’m headed back to Seattle.”
“You could stay. I know you’ve grown to love it. We could make this work. Or at least try.”
“I-I can’t see myself in a small town. Too many bad things happened in Chestnut Ridge. I just can’t shake it. And what certain people tried to do to my reputation brought it all back up again. I’ve been down that road before when accusations were made about my father.”
“Harlow, a town can’t hurt you. I won’t let it.”
“But people can.” She let out a brittle laugh. “My dad—”
“What happened to him was horrific. It was a huge wrecking ball to your childhood. But if you let it get in the way of your happiness, that means you’re just stuck. You’re not growing. Something tells me your dad wouldn’t want that for you.”
“Maybe I am stuck, Nick. Permanently.” Harlow looked away from Nick’s intense gaze. Tears were burning her eyes.Please don’t cry. It will be so much worse if you cry. Stuff your feelings down. That way it won’t hurt as much.
She felt Nick’s fingers on her chin, gently turning her face back toward him. What she saw reflected back at her was shocking to her core. Harlow nearly let out a gasp. “I’m in love with you. That’s not something I could ever say lightly. I never thought I’d want to walk through life with someone after losing Kara.” Nick’s voice sounded raspy with emotion. “But you’re all I see when I think about the future. You’re all I want, Harlow. I’ll never need anything more than you. You’re enough, baby.”
Harlow squeezed her eyes shut. Nick’s words sounded perfect. She wanted so badly to believe that she was worthy of being with him. But at her core, she was screwed up and damaged. The past still had a grip on her. Nick deserved better than she could ever give him.
“As an adult I’ve never dreamed of the white picket fence or getting married and raising a family. Those were childhood dreams.”
“So what? It’s never too late to switch up your dreams.”
