“You’re looking for something you’re never going to get, Luke,” Nick pressed. “What about Stella? The two of you—”
He bowed his head. Nick wasn’t going to like this. “There’s nothing there, Nick. It’s over.”
Nick let out a shocked breath. “Over? What are you talking about? You two are great together. I saw the way you looked at her. I’ve never seen you so happy. So content to be in someone else’s orbit. What happened?”
“It doesn’t matter. She deserves way better than me,” he said. “Nothing ever lasts for long in my personal life. Allison said it best. I’m not made for the long haul. I just need to suck it up and move on. I don’t deserve someone like Stella.” He turned away from Nick, only to have him grab him by the arm so they stood face-to-face.
“Tell me you don’t love her.” Nick’s eyes felt like laser beams as he stared Luke down.
Luke opened his mouth to deny it, but the words just wouldn’t come. He couldn’t make the lie roll off his tongue. Nick pointed his finger at him. “See! You can’t deny it because that’s how you feel. And it’s genuine and powerful. And maybe that scares you. Because love is terrifying and amazing and powerful. Running away from Stella because you don’t feel worthy is the stupidest move you could ever make. And you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever known.”
“I don’t deserve a happily ever after, Nick. Not when Kenny and Aaron won’t be getting a shot at one.”
“I can’t believe—” Nick stopped and placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. Luke could see raw emotion was threatening to overtake him. “You’re walking away from love when I’d give my right arm to be able to get a second chance with Kara. I’d crawl through fire to get her back.”
Tears burned Luke’s eyes and he blinked them away. “Nick. Don’t do this to me. I already feel bad enough. I can’t take it if you throw Kara in my face.”
Nick glared at him. Luke felt it going straight to his soul. He couldn’t recall the last time they’d been at odds like this. His brother’s anger was understandable, yet Luke couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“Maybe you’re right,” Nick spit out. “You don’t deserve to be with someone like Stella. Despite getting knocked down she keeps getting up. She stays in the fight.” He let out a brittle laugh. “Everyone thinks Luke Keegan is so brave, but the truth is you’re afraid to go after love. And that makes you more cowardly than I ever imagined.”
Nick tore out of the room as if his feet were on fire. He honestly couldn’t remember ever seeing his brother so angry. Luke let out a ragged breath. His brother’s parting shot left him feeling as if he’d been sucker punched in the gut.A coward?That had been a low blow. Luke bristled. Was Nick right? Was he allowing fear to keep him from pursuing a life with Stella? If that was true, he was the world’s biggest fool.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The week after Luke dumped her had been the most miserable time of Stella’s life, which was really saying something considering she’d once been ditched two days before her wedding. At this point she was fairly convinced that nothing could ever fill the void in her life left by Luke’s absence. The memory of him would always loom large in her life, and in her heart. So many times she wanted to pick up her cell phone and text or call him. But what would have been the point? He’d made himself clear. She’d laid her heart on the line and he’d barely blinked. Heat suffused her cheeks at the memory of her telling him she loved him.
What had she been thinking? It had been foolish to believe a man like Luke would want something permanent with her. It had felt like love, real enduring love, but she’d been wrong.Again.And somehow this time was more brutal than before. Because she loved him in a way she’d never loved anyone else. Not ever.
With Rafe it had been about the humiliation and the wedding that wasn’t and letting everyone down. It had never been about the loss of Rafe. Not really. It took meeting Luke to come to that realization.
This time around she was mourning the loss of a man who knew her inside and out, warts and all. She enjoyed spending time with him, whether they were going to the movies, skinny dipping at the lake, or walking Coco Chanel down by the marina. He made her laugh at the silliest things. And she felt like her truest self with him. The best part of her shined when he was in her orbit. She would never adjust to him not being in her life.
“Hey, Stella.” The familiar voice called out to her, drawing her out of her thoughts. She turned her head just in time to see her mother walking up her patio steps with the help of her cane.
“Mom. I didn’t know you were coming over so early. I could easily have dropped Tess home.” Stella stood up and quickly walked over to greet her mother. Tess was visiting today and had taken Coco Chanel for a walk on the beach. Stella hadn’t expected her mother to come so early to pick her up.
“Well, I wanted to check on you.” Her mother leaned heavily on her cane as she made her way to the table and sat down. Stella knew her mother didn’t enjoy being fussed over. She had an independent spirit that she wanted to maintain. Stella pulled out a chair, resisting the urge to do anything else for her mother other than offering her some refreshments.
Once Stella came back from the kitchen with two tall glasses of peach iced tea and a bowl of cherries, they dug into the treats.
“You’re spoiling me,” Leslie said in an excited tone as she bit into a cherry. “You know they’re my favorite.”
Stella managed a smile, even though it was difficult. “Cherries might just be the best thing about summertime.”
They sat for a few minutes drinking their iced tea, eating cherries, and gazing at the beautiful waters of Blackberry Beach. It was a tranquil setting despite the turmoil roiling around in Stella’s heart.
“I’m so sorry about you and Luke,” her mother said softly.
“It’s okay,” Stella said with a shrug. “Life goes on.” Stella spoke past the huge lump in her throat that had been sitting there for a solid week. She looked down instead, fearful that her mother might see the devastation in her eyes. It was a natural instinct for Stella to bury her emotions. At this point, she wasn’t even sure she knew how to stop doing it. It was a defense mechanism born out of her desire not to be an object of pity.
Her mother reached for her chin and lifted it up so their eyes met. “No, it’s not, Stella. It’s never okay to lose someone you care about. Stop pretending it is.”
The words slammed against her chest with a force that left her breathless. She hadn’t fooled her mother one bit. And she was now picking at Stella’s scab.
Stella simply nodded, her eyes burning. It was only a matter of time before she’d burst into tears, and she didn’t want to break down in front of her mother. It was ridiculous to cry over a broken heart when her mother had been bravely fighting a terrible disease for years.
“Stella, I want to apologize to you.”
