Stella smiled. “Okay then. It’s a date.” She lifted her tray up and said, “I hate to run but I’m dropping off coffee for a friend. It was nice meeting you, Brando. Talk to you soon, Luke.”
“I’ll call you later,” he said. For a second he wondered if they would have talked about the kiss if Brando hadn’t been present. He’d been thinking about it a lot, way more than he would have if it hadn’t affected him. Luke needed to think of a way to bring it up casually without freaking Stella out. He wasn’t even sure that he knew what he wanted to say.How about that kiss, Stella?
“So the two of you are an item?” Brando asked after Stella walked away. He was sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for Luke to answer. “I felt a vibe between you. She’s gorgeous by the way.”
“It’s complicated, although we are spending a lot of time together and figuring things out,” Luke admitted. He wasn’t trying to be evasive, but he didn’t want to mislead Brando. They’d been through the fire together as Navy SEALs—life and death missions that had made them blood brothers for life. And if he was being completely honest with himself, after the kiss he and Stella had shared the other night, he was beginning to catch real feelings.
The joke was on him. He’d devised this fake romance plot and now he was so tangled up in it he didn’t know if he was coming or going.
A huge grin threatened to overtake Brando’s face. “From where I’m sitting it doesn’t look too complicated. You were beaming just now. And the way you were looking at each other…” Brando let out a low whistle. “Hot stuff there.”
Brando’s enthusiasm made him grin. “You know I’m not great at relationships. This is uncharted waters for me.” And he meant it. He was swimming in the deep end. Stella was the type of woman who was complex and multifaceted. After what she’d endured with Rafe, he knew she wouldn’t settle for less. Nor should she. He wasn’t close to being whole, not physically or emotionally.Do I even deserve to be with her?
“Hey, don’t count yourself out based on past relationships. I had a terrible record until I met Jolene. She sorted me out by making it clear that if I didn’t fly right, she was gone.” Brando dragged his hand through his short hair. “She was too important to me to run the risk of losing her.”
Brando and Jolene had gotten married two years ago. Their son David had been born last year. Brando had changed from a hard-partying bachelor into a devoted husband and father in a very short period of time. Luke barely remembered the pre-Jolene version of Brando. He’d changed into a man who valued commitment and family.
“I’m so happy for you guys. You’re really living your best life.” Luke drained the rest of his coffee from the cup. “I’ve still got some things to sort out,” he admitted, pushing the empty cup away from him. “I haven’t fully processed what happened on my last mission. I have these nightmares where I try to stop the explosive devices from going off, but each and every time I’m too late. I wake up drenched with sweat every time.”
“It’s okay to struggle with those memories, Luke, but it’s also all right to talk to someone if they keep getting worse.” Brando steepled his fingers in front of him. “And it doesn’t mean you can’t create something wonderful with Stella. Being back home means you get to start a whole new chapter of your life. Without feeling guilty about surviving when others didn’t. You deserve to be here.”
Survivor’s guilt. He’d been wondering if he was grappling with it, but now his best friend had put it out there. It made it all the more real for him. It was hard to move forward when he felt guilty about surviving the blast. About being called a hero. About being honored with the Medal of Honor. He wanted to pursue something authentic with Stella, but he had to wonder if he deserved a woman like her. He was carrying a lot of emotional burdens that might just pull her under.
Brando was right. If he waited for his life to be sorted out, Luke might never try to build something real with anyone. And Stella wasn’t just anyone as far as he was concerned. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a partner. Smart. Beautiful. Caring. Kind. But he had no idea if she had feelings for him. What if his feelings were one-sided?
Years ago he’d wanted so badly to make things work with his ex-girlfriend, Allison, but the feelings hadn’t been there on his side. She’d wanted the wedding and the white dress and a lifelong commitment, but Luke hadn’t been in love with her. Hurting her with his indecisiveness had been one of the worst things he’d ever done. Luke had vowed to never go down that road again. Maybe that was one of the big reasons he’d avoided relationships. He couldn’t bear the idea of crushing someone’s dreams again. Or not living up to their expectations.
Kissing Stella had shown him that even though he’d hatched a plan for a pretend relationship, what he’d felt the other night had been anything but fake. Just being with her made him want to be a better man, one who wasn’t tethered to the past. He hadn’t planned on a relationship upon his return to Mistletoe. His goals were to support Nick and Miles, find gainful employment, and meet face-to-face with Kenny’s and Aaron’s families. But Stella was becoming more important to him each and every day, which could become a huge distraction.
He was in as much danger with Stella as he’d ever been while being on active duty in Afghanistan.
Chapter Sixteen
Kneeling in the dirt planting teacup roses wasn’t exactly Stella’s idea of summer fun. She hadn’t been given the gift of a green thumb like her mother, although she adored flowers. The previous occupants of her house had planted glorious flowers—roses, hyacinths, and azaleas that kept blooming year after year, providing Stella with an abundance of joy. Now it was her turn to add to the beauty of her property.
Stella hadn’t spoken to Luke since the other day at the Coffee Bean, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was avoiding her. Was she just being paranoid? Things had seemed fine between them then. Maybe he was busy with PT and trying to find a job. It was a relief to know he was under a doctor’s care and engaged in physical therapy a few times a week. It was the type of self-care she didn’t think Luke made time for in his life. After suffering a trauma, he needed to focus on healing.
She sighed. Luke had a lot on his plate these days in addition to trying to keep up with a fake romance. What if he’d decided to end their showmance to make room for everything else? She wasn’t ready for it to end, which was a bit shocking considering he’d had to convince her to be a part of the ploy in the first place. The truth was she enjoyed the time she’d been spending with Luke. He made her feel valued and smart and wanted. She couldn’t really say Rafe had ever made her feel all those things. How had she ever thought they were going to last a lifetime together?
The ping of her cell phone had her digging in her back pocket for her phone. She glanced down at the screen and saw Luke’s name. It caused pure adrenaline to race through her veins.
What are you doing?
Several dots appeared on the screen, so she knew he was still texting.
Can you meet me at the lighthouse?
After days of silence he wanted her to meet up with him at the drop of a dime? How annoying! She tapped out a single word.
Now?
Yes. It’s important.
I can be there in twenty minutes.
A thumbs-up sign flashed on the screen. Stella jammed the phone back in her pocket.
Important?Ugh. She had a sick feeling roiling around in her stomach. Was this it? The moment he told her that their fake courtship was over? Stella headed inside to get cleaned up. If Luke was going to break up with her, she wanted to at least look good while he was doing it. She ended up wearing a pair of jean Capri pants that flattered her figure and a loose-fitting tunic top. It was always breezy at Holly Hill, considering the lighthouse sat on a cliff above the ocean. Sunglasses and a pair of sneakers finished her outfit.
