No one had ever said these words to him.
His aunt and uncle had loved him, but their love had beendemonstratedmore than discussed. Their influence on his life had been tenuous and fragile. They’d quietly become his surrogate parents while his actual mother and father were still very much alive. They’d been careful not to overstep, not to profess or beam or claim too much. His uncle had been terrified his older brother would take Ian away.
And so nothing had been said. Not once. Never.
As to women... well, Ian was no virgin. He’d been in the army, he’d become a duke when he was dashing and unattached, rather than old and long married. But he’d never before had a mistress or a sweetheart. Hell, he’d never before been with the same woman for more than one night.
Oh the irony. He’d only been with Drewsmina for a night.
Well, one night and then one afternoon in a thick copse of trees.
But still.
Oh, I do love you.
The words swam about in his head like fish in a bowl, beautiful but also trapped. He didn’t know whether to feedthem, procure a larger domicile for their comfort, or thrust them back at her.
“I do not like surprises,” he mumbled to himself, crunching down the path.
Drew was behind him, scrambling to keep up. “I beg your pardon?” she asked.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I’m thinking out loud.”
They’d cleared the trees, walked across a field, and now rounded the corner of the pond. In the distance, his parked carriage and stallion came into view. Beyond that, the girls sat in a bright patch of sunlight.
“What was your thought?” Drew prompted.
“Hmmm?”
“You’ve just said you were thinking out loud,” she said quietly. “It makes me wonder. Thinking of what?”
He cleared his throat. He thought about how he should answer. He’d already said the wrong thing once—that is, he’d said nothing, which had been wrong. He didn’t want to do it again.
“I was simply thinking,” he said, “how unsettled I can be. By surprises.”
“Surprises,” she repeated with emphasis.
She walked a few more steps and declared, “Me neither. I do not care for surprises.”
Another few steps. She added, “I do believe I was surprised—by today, that is. By what happened. In the, er, trees.”
The sound of distress in her voice tore a strip from his heart, and he stopped. He spun back. She was looking up to him, searching his face with large, anxious eyes.
“You didn’t feel... coerced or... or forced did you, Drew?” His heartbeat suddenly pounded behind his eyes.
“Oh no,” she said, shaking her head, “it was nothing like that. I wanted—That is, I want everything we may, er do. Together. The two of us.” She blushed beautifully and looked away.
“However,” she continued, glancing back, “now that youraise the topic of surprises, I realize that I may have been overcome with the unexpected, er . . . passion of it all. Which may have also led me to do . . . or tosay...That is, I may have—”
Now she faltered, and it was his turn to shake his head. “You’ve done nothing remotely out of order, Drewsmina,” he said.
She narrowed her eyes, clearly trying to gauge the truth of this.
He reached out to touch her arm, and she stared at his hand. He wrapped his fingers gently round her bicep and slid them up and down. He could no longercasuallytouch her. Every touch evolved into a caress.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I’ve spoken out of turn.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she whispered.
