“Do not ask,” she said. “Do it. Please, Joseph, do it.”
With an oath, he sank into her. Tessa made a little cry. The sound of that cry was different from her previous, lust-soaked cries, and the sound yanked her from him for the flash of a second. Her consciousness hovered somewhere between her daily life and this moment in time. On one side, she wore clothes, stood upright, thought logical thoughts; on the other, she was naked, prone, and in carnal throes with her husband.
If she tipped her thoughts toward everyday life, she would acknowledge some pain, she would realize considerable awkwardness, and she would possibly feel some panic.
However, if she tipped the other direction, she would ignore the pain, embrace the fullness and the weight and the union; and she would, possibly, maybe, perhaps, reach that very insistent... whatever-it-was that her body had been seeking so very hard.For days.But especially tonight. It was the urgency that kept her rising off the bed, an unattainable burn that needed just a bit more of... something.
Tessa tipped toward that something, her brain dropped back into the numbing sort of want that produced moans and sighs instead of questions and answers. She allowed every other thought to be chased away.
Above her, Joseph was very still and very breathless. He was so still and breathless, she thought he’d turned to stone.
Tessa opened her eyes to smile at him, to tell him she knew what came next, that she wasn’t afraid, that he shouldmove. But his eyes were closed. He wouldn’t even look at her. He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut andendured.
Tessa would have laughed except she’d made the conscious choice to not think too closely about it. Instead,shemoved. Just a nudge. The movement felt fine... actually the movement felt rather promising and she moved again, more forcefully this time. More promise. She moved and she moved, and she watched Joseph’s eyes spring open and lock with hers. And she raised her eyebrows—this is a real thing that we are actually doing—and he let out a guttural growl that sounded like the eleven months of pent-up desire being set free.
And then he took over. Tessa closed her eyes, lost to the rhythm and the sound of rushing blood and the burning rush coiling in her body.
And then the great coiling burn detonated within her, a spiral of sensation, every note on the piano played wildly and perfectly at the same time, and she lost herself for a moment, she went limp, she floated, she sank, she bobbed to the surface. Her body sang.
When she opened her eyes, Joseph had thrown his head back and cried out, another guttural release after months and months of separation and doubt and restraint. And then he called her name and collapsed on top of her, and she wasn’t certain, but she thought there was a chance that he wept.
We’ve done it,she thought. She smiled at the ceiling of her new house. No other man entered her thoughts—no other time or place. Only her love for Joseph Chance and the strange journey that had brought them to this moment.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Joseph awakened with only one thought on his mind.Again.
Again and again and again until I perish of making love to my wife.
It was a selfish thought, because he had no notion of how Tessa would feel about her boldness or his aggressiveness or any other part of their lovemaking, and one successful night did not mean they had solved her anxiety forever. He thought of the thing he had told her many times before.
We have a lifetime.
He was on the edge of the bed, his back to her, but could feel her warm and snug behind him. He rolled over, careful not to crush her, and watched her breathe in and out. Her hair was a long net of blonde over the half-moon crescent of her naked body.
“I can feel you watching me,” she whispered without opening her eyes. She slid her leg to entangle with his.
“I will never grow tired of watching you,” he said.
“What would you say if I said I want another go?” she said. She opened one eye.
His body, already aroused, surged. “Yes,” he said, “I would say yes.” He waited.
“With clothes.”
“Alright,” he said. He reached out and grabbed her wrist.
“And possibly... outside.”
“You’re joking,” he said. He gave a tug, pulling her in for a kiss.
She laughed and shook her head. “I want to vanquish every demon. I want to make love upright. Outside.”
He paused in his kiss. “Now youarejoking. Hardly my style, Tessa. Although I shall happily take you on a guided tour of my style. Er,styles.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of your styles. ‘Pausing’—for one. Stationary hands on specific body parts...”
Now he growled and rolled over once, pinning her beneath him, and then rolling again and taking her with him. She yelped and flopped on top of him. He grabbed her hips and squared her over his arousal.
