He said, “After you have experienced what I have in mind... after we have succeeded in this... you will not describe yourself or the process as lost for hope.”
“You are too good to me.”
“I love you,” he said.
She sat up, smiling in spite of herself. “I love you, too,” she tried.
He shook his head. “Nope. That was a reflex. You merely answered me. It doesn’t count. This resets my vow not to say it again until you do.”
She fell against this chest and held him.I love you, I love you, I love you,she cried in her head.
“But, Tessa?” Joseph mumbled, his lips against her hair, “now we should sleep.” She had collapsed on his chest and he could feel the wetness of her tears on his skin. “We will try again tomorrow night. We will try again myway.”
“No, we should try again now.”
“Now we have taken ourselves too far, too quickly. I feel like an oaf and you are miserable. We will have another go in the morning.”
She looked up. “In the morning?”
“Part of my nefarious plan is to leave you wanting more, anticipating the next bit, and you are not safe at any hour. My goal is to make you, er,burnso to speak. We want the burn to be hotter than the fear.”
“It is,” she insisted.
“Not yet. But it will be.”
“And you?” she asked.
“Darling, I have already incinerated. I am the charred remains of a man who walks around in a whole man’s clothes. Beneath them, I am smoldering, blue ash.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered and Joseph swore in his head. He did not wish to make her feel blame.
“No apologies,” he said. “This will be fun.”
This will end me,he thought, but he kissed her and rolled her gently onto her back and gathered her in his arms and held her until she fell asleep.
Sleep, however, evaded Joseph. He thought of the so-called “captain” who attacked his wife, the worthless rotter, and what he would do to him should they ever have the misfortune of crossing paths. He thought of Tessa, how brave and enthusiastic she was, so gainfully willing to sort this out, despite her fears. A lesser woman might have sworn off sex forever. This made him think of sex forever with Tessa—and of the most fortuitous, positive way to bring it about.
He had passed the journey from London devising a series of lovemaking techniques that he would explore with her. The result, he hoped, would be either a breakthrough of her panic or his own expiration. The contemplation (alone) of the techniques had made the journey to Hartlepool the most sexually frustrating voyage he’d ever made, and he was bloody grateful it had only taken four days.
Then Tessa had arrived, and he’d known a new level of frustration as they toured the town and met with the dockworkers and waited for night to fall. When she’d finally come to him, he’d allowed her to distract from his slow, careful seduction because she’d wanted so earnestly to take the lead.
Chief among everything else were her consent and ownership of their intimacy, so he’d gone along.
Also, he could not resist her. He’d wanted it to work just as badly as she had.
But now they’d leapt too far ahead and returned right back to where they began.
This can be done,Joseph thought, finally drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Tessa awakened some hours later, overwarm and tangled in her gown. She fumbled with the burgundy silk, desperate to be free. Joseph was stirred by her movement and slid, wordlessly, from the bed to shuck off his buckskins. When he climbed in beside her, long legs bare, Tessa swam through the bedsheets to latch onto his side, curling her legs around him, reveling in the access to him,allof him, warm and languid and heavy.
He turned to her, eyes still closed, and she swiped a kiss across his lips. He made a mumbling noise, and she kissed him again. And again. The fourth time, Joseph locked his arms around her and kissed her back, slowly, lazily. When he finally came up for air, he found her ear and whispered, “Tessa? I’ve a game for you. Do you like games?”
Immediately, her heart kicked into a sprint. She nodded.
“Lovely,” he rumbled. “The game will start tonight, right now if you like, and it will continue for... as long as we like. Days, at least, perhaps longer.”
His voice was low and gravelly, a sensual, sleep-ragged voice, and she felt his lips moving against her ear. Every cell in her body came urgently awake. She dug her fingers into his shoulders.
