She shook her head. She seemed unable to speak.
“I cannot say what it’s meant to feel like—when a man becomes a father. Trevor says it is a combination of worry and pride, hope and love. Exhaustion. Exhilaration. Protectiveness. And something more. Something beyond the realm of understanding.”
“Yes,” rasped Tessa. Tears choked her voice. “I would say this is accurate—about motherhood, at least.”
“The affection I feel now for Christian seems like only the beginning of something that will grow to fill my life in ways I cannot imagine. It seems like a very large, very significant love that I find myself wanting, very much. If you wouldn’t mind.”
Again, she shook her head. She kissed the top of her son’s hatless head. “It has been my greatest wish,” she whispered. “Greater even that you would love me.”
“Well, you shall have two wishes fulfilled, because I love you both. Oh, Tessa. I love you both.” He bent to nuzzle her neck.
Tessa tucked herself against him and squeezed the baby. Christian made a squawking noise and began to kick. She burrowed deeper.
“By the way,” Joseph said, speaking against her hair, “I’ve decidednotto say those words again.Notuntilyousay them. No more I-love-yous for you, my dear. I shall tell Christian, of course, because he cannot yet speak.”
Tessa reared back. The baby grabbed the fat loop of one of her braids and she cocked her head, following the baby’s firm grip. “But I do love you,” she said.
“No,” dismissed Joseph, working at the baby’s clenched fist in her hair. “Unacceptable. Said under duress. Parroted back to me because we are discussing it.”
“Stop, of course, I love you,” she said, half laughing. “Christian,ouch. Let go.”
“Perhaps you do and perhaps I do,” Joseph said, finally disentangling the braid from the baby’s fist. Christian wailed. “But you’ll not hearmesay it again until I hear an authentic I-love-you from you.” He looked down at her and winked.
A gasp from behind them interrupted their conversation. “Why is the baby not wearing his hat?”
It was Perry, her youthful disapproval very clear. Joseph winked again and kissed both Tessa and Christian on the tops of their heads and handed the fussy baby to Perry. Tessa discussed meals and naps with the maid and then sent them on their way, but not before Perry reintroduced Christian to his hat. The baby’s cries could be heard in Durham.
“The discussion of I-love-you is not over,” Tessa said when she returned. “I am determined to be believed.”
“Oh, I hope not,” Joseph said, gesturing for her to proceed him on the sidewalk. “You must work to make up for lost time.”
Tessa narrowed her eyes, studying him, and then looked toward the water. “Tell me more of what you and Christian made of the town on your walk?” she finally asked.
“He and I mostly made a circuit of the inn yard,” Joseph said. “But we’re told the town is grey and foggy, although the ocean views are splendid in the sun. You can expect fish at every meal, of course. Storms in November and February.And...there is a dockyard in search of a manifest clerk in their dock house.”
“No!” Tessa spun to him.
Joseph clasped his hands behind his back and smiled. “Stoker, who is sulking around somewhere, by the way, learned this as soon as we’d made port and leased a slip. I checked around. There are several positions in the dock house, actually. It is not a busy port at the moment, but it holds potential, in my opinion. I will make no more presumptions or inquiries. I leave that up to you.”
Tessa clasped her hands together. “Oh, I cannot wait to see it. But we should find the High Street first and get the lay of the town. Even if the dockyard holds potential, we cannot remain here if the people are miserable or the shops are depressing. What of your prospects in government?”
Joseph nodded and indicated a turn in the direction of Church Street, which was Hartlepool’s main shopping street. “Could be worse, actually. The town counsel is particularly active—they are responsible for the new dock, as you reported—and several members are too old to run again. It is not out of the question. I would have to start very small since we are entirely unknown here. But that would be the case most anywhere.”
“But look at the church,” exclaimed Tessa when St. Hilda’s came into view.
“Oh, yes, the town is in possession of an old Norman church. St. Hilda’s. Built in the 1100s, or so I’m told. Hartlepool has a storied, almost ancient history with shipping, pirates, Vikings, all manner of sea farers. People here have been sending out and receiving ships for thousands of years. Well done, Tessa, if your aim was to find a spot to welcome the world to England and send England back out again. Well done.”
Tessa stopped walking, shook her head, and placed a hand over her mouth. She looked so very happy. Joseph stepped back, allowing her this moment of delight; he soaked in his own pleasure, watching her beam.
After a deep breath, she took up his hand and they walked together, looking in on shops, asking questions of suspicious townspeople, and wandering through the knobby, bricked streets of the little town. They took lunch at a small café and devoted the afternoon to the dockyard.
Tessa introduced herself to a procession of stunned dockworkers, each more confused and spellbound by the beautiful inquirer than the next.
It was quickly obvious that the men endeavored to answer her questionsto Josephwhen he lurked about her, despite the fact that she made the inquiries. After the third answer was addressed to him, he excused himself and boarded Stoker’s brig.
After an hour, Tessa had all of her questions answered and she and Joseph walked back to the inn. She chattered excitedly, relaying everything she had learned about ship traffic in the North Sea, the cargo and boats most commonly coming and going through Hartlepool, the usefulness of the nearby River Tees to the dockyard, and the weather in every season.
“But did you ask about employment?” he asked.
