“But you did not really mean what you said about Hartlepool?” she asked.
“Oh,” he sighed, leading her around the corner to the buyer’s office, “I’ll need to own property somewhere in the bloody country in order to run for Parliament. County Durham sounds like as good a place as any. Why the hell not?”
Tessa stopped walking. He looked down at her. He’d said these words casually, agreeably, as if she’d suggested fish for dinner and he’d agreed.
“Why not?” she repeated softly, her heart in her throat. Truthfully, she felt her heart in her eyes, in the expression on her face. Her heart beamed from her chest.
Joseph winked at her and then led her into the buyer’s shop.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was decided that Tessa and the baby would travel to County Durham by private coach, along with Perry, a detachment of grooms, and a burly sailor named Benjamin who would manage the trunks and glare at anyone who dared give them a second look.
Joseph would remain in London for a fortnight, settle the most pressing of the guano business, and travel to County Durham by sea, reaching Hartlepool a day or two before Tessa and the baby.
Joseph hated to part ways with her again, but when she had recovered from the shock of his offer, her immediate priority became departing Belgravia as soon as possible. She was determined to relieve the Boyds.
Joseph was shamed by how uncomfortable she had been. Hartlepool might be a fool’s errand, but he would do anything to make up for allowing her to live on the kindness of relative strangers these last eleven months. If Hartlepool turned out to be a terrible place, or the dockyard held no potential, if she hated it or the baby seemed unhappy, they would return to London and determine some other plan.
And there was the small matter of the boast Joseph had made to her father. He was determined to follow through. More important, Tessa had discovered the little town herself and she wanted it. Her reasons were plainly stated and made sense. Not an abundance of sense, Joseph noted, but she’d hedged no secrets and offered a line of logic they could both see. It was such a hopeful start.
And so Joseph had arranged for the coach, arranged for rooms along the journey, arranged for protection and every comfort he could predict. In a fortnight, they would rendezvous. In good weather, he’d need only four days to make the journey by sea, and he planned to leave in time to scout out County Durham for himself. She’d mentioned a “cottage,” but in Joseph’s view, his days of cottage life were long over.
He arrived early to Belgravia on the day she was scheduled to depart and went over the route and expectations with the coachman and grooms. Tessa and Perry soon convened in the doorway to oversee the loading of the trunks and make tearful good-byes to Sabine and the Boyds.
Tessa tried once again to convince Sabine to join her, but her friend declined. Everyone held the baby one last time. A debate ensued about the rightful owners of Tessa’s goat. When, at last, the trunks had been secured and the baby had been fed and the goat had been given to the Boyds as a gift, Tessa sought out Joseph among the grooms.
“May we speak before I go?” she asked. She held the goat by a lead rope.
Joseph considered her. She’d worn a traveling suit that was not quite as heavy and oppressive as her usual drab shroud. The skirt and jacket were midnight blue. There was a matching hat. She looked elegant and beautiful and not entirely suited for minding a goat.
“I hoped that we would,” he said.
She turned away, pulling the goat in the direction of the mews.
“I’ve charged Benjamin with locating a female goat in each town as soon as you reach the inn,” Joseph said, rushing to take the animal.
“Yes, he’s told me. We can manage with cow’s milk if there is no goat,” she said. “You’ve thought of everything.”
“I’ve thought of you,” he said. “Or I’ve endeavored to. There will be things I cannot anticipate.”
“I’ve managed for months without you, Joseph. Perry and I will carry on as we have.”
I don’t want you to carry on as you have,he thought, but he would not detract from what she had achieved.
They neared the stable door and the goat picked up speed, anxious to be away from the humans and the carriage and an uncertain future. Tessa swung the gate and stepped inside.
He’d called on her frequently since the day at Trevor’s house, the day they’d encountered her father in Blackwall. The plan to visit Hartlepool had come together very quickly, in less than a week, and it had required daily collaboration. Even so, the opportunity to be alone with her, truly alone, had not presented itself. Like a coward, he had not engineered one.
Trevor had accused him again of not being particularly attracted to his wife. It was an offhand jest, intended to spur him to action, but the claim made him almost angry. The desire he felt for Tessa had been so urgent and present for so long—nearly a year now, since they first met—that it felt almost like his shadow, a hulking reflection of himself that hounded his every step. But instead of weightless and easily ignored, his desire was a pressure that never let up, a pulsing, insistent burn.
Let it burn,Joseph had told himself. He would rather burn alive than relive the look of panic on her face when she leapt from his lap. And now that he knew why? He could not pursue her in the usual ways. He would wait and watch and proceed with extreme caution, his burning desire be damned.
In the stable, Tessa busied herself untying the goat and stringing the rope on a peg. “There is something I should like before I go, Joseph,” she said, giving the animal a final pat.
“What have we forgotten?” he asked.
“A kiss.” She left the animal and started to him.
