She could do this. She would do it.
“But would you two like to take a turn around the garden?” her mother trilled. Tessa looked up, nearly spilling her tea.
“A turn?” she asked.
Her mother narrowed her eyes. It was neither charming nor blithe to repeat questions like a parrot, and she knew better. From the earliest age, her mother had taught her the art of sparkling conversation, and Tessa was expected to use it. So very much had been expected of Tessa. So much.
“That is, I should be delighted,” she corrected. “If Mr. Chance is so inclined?”
“It would be a pleasure,” said Joseph. He rose and affected a small bow. While her parents smiled on, he collected her from her chair and asked her to choose a pathway. The Berymede gardens were a web of walks and hedges, the envy of the county. Tessa chose a winding path secluded by a wall of junipers, and they walked in silence until they were a safe distance on.
“Thank you for coming,” she said finally. She slid her hand to his and scooped it up. “Truly.”
He looked down at their joined hands and then up at her. “I hope there was no doubt,” he said.
She shook her head. He was steadfast, she’d seen that immediately. She’d known he would come. She thought about telling him how much his steadiness impressed her, but it was imprudent to gush. She must not do anything too much or too little. She must do everything exactly right.
She said, “Does it shock you that you answered an advert from a strange girl and yet we... seem to get on so well?”
“Define shock,” he teased.
“Oh, you know... speechless, wide-eyed, frozen. Shocked.” She lifted her eyes from the path to his profile. She wanted desperately to stare openly, to take inventory of each detail on his face.
“If I am those things, it is my reaction to you—not the random luck of a random advert.”
Another somersault in her chest.
“I am keenly susceptible to beautiful, charming women,” he said, “and you, Miss St. Croix, may just be the most beautiful and most charming girl I have ever had the unearned fortune of meeting. If anything, I am surprised that a girl as lovely as you should be forced to advertise for a husband.” He looked down at her with raised eyebrows. He waited.
Tessa nodded quickly. She and her friends had expected this. Her friends, however, assumed she would simply tell him the truth. He would receive her £15,000 dowry in exchange for accepting her pregnancy. It was meant to be a fair and open trade. She and Joseph would part ways after the wedding and rarely, if ever, see each other again. This had been the arrangement struck by her friends and their convenient grooms.
But her friends had not been paired with Joseph Chance.
Joseph had the potential to be so much more than one half of an open trade; he had the potential to be a real husband. In every way. She wasn’t prepared to put that unbelievably lucky potential at risk, and talk of a baby could only scare him away. It had scared away Captain Marking. If her parents knew, it would horrify them—they would disown her. How much more ruthless would a near-stranger be?
“Oh, that,” she said. “Well, my friends are determined to move to London, you see; and I cannot bear to be left behind. My parents would never allow me to go alone. The three of us have been planning to make our lives in London together since we were girls. And now Willow has the opportunity for an apprenticeship and Sabine must escape her terrible uncle, so they will go for certain. I cannot be abandoned in the countryside while they... while they have all the fun.”
He considered this silently, and she added, “My family is lovely, but they stifle me. With four older brothers, I shall always be viewed as a child. I’ve waited many years for an opportunity to be an adult person with a life beyond Surrey. Even so, the advert was... sort of... a lark for me honestly. And then you came along...”
There,she thought.I’ve said it.
And none of it was a lie, not really. If it was, it would be her third. Three lies. Tessa shut out the growing number.
Joseph continued to study her and she pressed, “So we are in... agreement?”
“In agreement...” he repeated. “Is that what we shall term our...?”
He smiled in a way that caused Tessa’s insides to expand and resettle. She wanted to laugh and tease, to draw the moment out. She wanted a real courtship that allowed them to become truly acquainted. She wanted to fall in love. But her future was at stake, the future of her child. She stayed the course. She wanted to hear him say it.
“Ourarrangement?” she provided. “My dowry goes to your venture. And your, er, proposal comes in exchange?”
He stopped walking and looked down at her.
“I’ll be honest with you, Miss St. Croix,” he began. “May I call you Tessa?”
“Absolutely,” she blurted. She cleared her throat. “That is, yes, please.”
“Tessa,” he repeated. “If I’m being truthful, I sought you out yesterday also on a lark...”
