“Your honor has never been in question,” she said. “Even a man of honor would not be faulted for leaving our...” She blinked three times. “For leaving a woman who has been as dishonest as I have been. I hoped you would remain for the money.”
Joseph ground his teeth together. He wanted to snatch the frilly white pillows from the bed, rip them to feathers, and hurl them into the fire.
“The spoiled life of relative splendor in which you have existed until now prohibits you from seeing the insult of the money,” he said. “I’m not a pauper, Tessa, regardless of what you may think.”
“I did not mean to diminish your fortune,” she said. “I merely meant....” She faltered. He felt her struggle in his own throat, in his own heart. It tortured him to see her anything less than confident and laughing and proud.
But he was so bloody angry, and anger had a way of blotting out sympathy. He pounced on it. “Careful not to count your chickens before they hatch, darling. If I don’t need your father’s money, and honor does not require me to stay, then why do you think I’ll remain?”
She shook her head.
“No, really,” he pressed bitterly, “I want to know.”
She blinked, her misery gave way to shock, if only for a minute. “You wish me to beg you?”
No,he thought miserably. “I want to know. Honestly. You’ve piqued my curiosity.”
She narrowed her eyes and took a step back. She collided with the chair and reached for balance. Joseph fought the urge to steady her.
“Well,” she began, “I thought you would not annul the marriage because an annulment would tarnish your reputation.”
Joseph dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “The noose tightens. I require your moneyandyour reputation. I might reconsider the second one, darling, under the circumstances.”
She made a little gasp. “Notmyreputation, you cretin,” she said, and Joseph looked at her, surprised at the bite in her voice.
Good,he thought, feeling a modicum of relief. Perhaps it was easier to behave like an arse in the face of someone who fought back.
She went on, “And I thought you would not wish to admit to your mentor, the Earl of Falcondale, that your new wife is... unfit.”
“Trevor trusts my judgment, whatever I do,” Joseph said. “Although I failed to spot this particular calamity before it jumped up and bit me on the arse, so perhaps that trust is misplaced.”
“I beg your pardon, sir,” she said, standing up straighter. “My child is not a calamity. No matter what you may think of me. And... and I’ll seek annulment myself if you make the suggestion again.”
Joseph stared, watching her chin go higher.Yes,he thought again, desperate for her to challenge his terrible behavior.
But now she seemed to lose heart. She dropped her face in her hands. He wanted to vault across the bed to reach her. He wanted to...
“Fine, Joseph,” she said, raising her head. “You don’t need the money. And your friends don’t care who you marry. But you’ve said you intend to run for Parliament one day. Surely life in politics will call your reputation into question. How is that? Do you feel properly begged?”
“You believe gossip would prevent me from annulment?”
“I would expect you to avoid gossip when you can,” she replied softly. “And I would expect you to want a loyal partner by your side.”
He laughed. “Loyal partner? Do you hear your own words? You’ve just lied to me for a month, Tessa! Where’s the loyalty in that?”
“I meant that a loyalwife, even a wife with a shameful secret, is preferred to chatter and gossip. If you annul the marriage, you will always have a hint of scandal, you will have this botched marriage in your past.”
He nodded, barely listening. “Parliament is a dream—yes—but even without political office, I should like to have the companionship of anhonestwife at my side. Above all. Honesty, Tessa. But not because of political aspirations, because life, in general, requires it. I always said that when I married, it would be to navigate life together, with a partner.”
She made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “Then why agree to marry a woman through an advertisement for money? This is hardly a scenario brimming with the potential for trust and partnership.”
He spun around. “Because it never felt like advertising or money to me! I thought I was marrying a girl for whom I had genuine affection!”
“But I am that same girl.” Her voice was small, so small he barely heard it. She spoke to her shoes. She did not lack conviction so much as... enthusiasm.
Joseph forged ahead. “Call me foolish, but I...” He laughed bitterly. “I was a believer in instant attraction, in Cupid’s bloody arrow. Ridiculously, I assumed that when I saw the girl meant to be my wife, I would know her. On sight. And when I looked at you...” The pain in his throat and heart increased, and he coughed. He thumped a fist against his chest. For a terrible moment, he worried that he would retch. He left the bed and shoved open the window, breathing in great gulps of cold December air.
“I am the same girl,” she repeated.
