It was true. Why the hellhadhe spent so much time at the LA office? Yes, it had been important to the business, but he had missed so much, too. Ben and Margo had started dating; he had known that marriage was inevitable. And then there was Emma. The girl who had been his shadow for so many years was gone, replaced by a woman who he was still getting to know.
“I just needed to get away,” Knightley finally murmured.
“From what?”
He let out a long breath, letting his eyes wander to the windows and the park beyond. There had been a huge iron sculpture there just a few days ago, all hard angles and oppressive lines, but it was gone now; workers were putting up a tall Christmas tree along with stalls where holiday shoppers would be buying their hot chocolate and gifts in just a few weeks.
“I don’t know.” Images of Ben and Margo and Emma flashed in his mind again. “A lot of things were changing here,” he finally said. “I guess I needed something that I could control.”
Will stared at him for a long moment, his eyes narrowed. “Is this about a woman?”
Jesus.
Knightley shook his head. “Will—”
“If you’re in a relationship, congratulations. But if you go out to LA for this deal, it’s got to be for this deal. Any other reason will be a distraction.”
“And I’m not in a relationship. So don’t worry about it.”
“Good,” Will said, motioning across the room to their waiter. “Now let’s order some food.”
Knightley returned to the office after lunch but only stayed another hour before closing his laptop and directing Kate to send all calls to his cell. He felt restless.
So he walked. He went up Fifth Avenue, past the apartment buildings and the churches and the bus stops. Through Rockefeller Center, under the spires of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, to the corner of Central Park, where bare trees lined the avenue that looked like it would go north forever.
He hadn’t walked home from the office in ages. It was only a couple of miles, yet there was always an excuse. It was too late or too early, too hot or too cold. But right now, with a slight chill in the air and his wool coat wrapped tight around his body, it was fucking perfect. The sharp wind around the buildings cooled his skin and stung his lungs, and suddenly he wasn’t thinking about Emma at all, just the momentum forward.
He began to meander down random streets until he stoppedat a red light at the corner of 83rd and Madison. His block was ahead, his house just a minute or so further down the street. But instead he looked right, toward the row of shops and restaurants nearby, and the tension in his muscles slowly returned.
The light turned green, but Knightley didn’t move. Then he turned and headed toward Lexington Avenue.
There was normally a line out the door at Vicarage Coffee, but that was also usually in the morning, when everyone was looking for that final caffeine fix before heading to work. Now it was late afternoon, and the small cafe was empty except for the guy behind the counter.
He was wearing his usual stained apron over a faded Nirvana T-shirt. Even if Knightley didn’t know Zane from his regular visits with Emma, the guy’s eye gave him away: it was black and blue and almost completely swollen shut.
“Hey man, what can I get you?” he asked as Knightley approached the counter.
He didn’t recognize him. Good.
Knightley gave him a tight smile. “A coffee.”
“You sure? I make a mean latte.” His voice sounded so casual, so relaxed, as if they were friends.
Knightley’s fingers curled into a fist at his side as he said, “Just the coffee.”
The man shrugged as if he doubted Knightley’s choice, but he still turned and poured the contents of a nearby carafe into a to-go cup.
“What happened?” Knightley said, motioning to Zane’s black eye when he turned back around.
Zane laughed, a lackadaisical sound that was so fucking irritating that Knightley pretended to dig for his wallet to keep from looking at his face.
“Man, you don’t even know. Let me just offer you some advice: don’t stick your dick in crazy.”
The rest of the room seemed to fall away as the sound of Knightley’s pulse rushed into his ears. It took a lot to get him angry, but right now he was almost blinded by it.
“Or, like…” Zane contemplated, completely oblivious as he handed the coffee to Knightley. “Don’ttryto stick your dick in crazy.”
“Sounds like words to live by,” Knightley coolly replied.
