She turned to him and found his expression had softened, a look of appreciation in his eyes.
She smiled back, mirroring his warmth as she mouthed,I’m going to kill you.
No one really understood why Knightley barked out a laugh at the end of the table. Or why Emma turned away without bothering to ask. And that was fine. Totally fine.
CHAPTER 35
Knightley pulled on his sweatpants as he sat down on the edge of his mattress and let out a sigh. He was ready for bed, but not at all tired.
He hated waiting.
Dinner had finished only a few hours ago, but he already missed her. He’d never experienced this type of gut-wrenching want with anyone else before. It was like his world had been fundamentally altered, as if the days before this had a slight gray tint to them now that everything was vibrant and colorful. This was more than just a passing infatuation. This was Emma.
He had loved watching her passion and strength on full display tonight. He had spent his entire life envying the Woodhouse family, but he also knew that while their love was unconditional, it could border on oppressive. Margo’s meddling was a perfect example. There was no malice in it though, and while some people might have reacted with frustration or resentment, Emma had responded to her sister’s latest scheme in such a calm, assertive way that even Knightley had been awed.
Of course, he couldn’t help but prod her tonight, too. He flirtedwith her right there under everyone’s noses and had already grown addicted to how her cheeks flushed whenever he caught her eye. Christ, he had barely gotten through the meal without reaching across the table and kissing her. And, if he was being honest about it, keeping this secret was turning out to be more fun than he thought. It was something only they knew.
It was the best Sunday dinner of his life.
But despite the playful edge to the evening, Emma’s words from the bathroom echoed in his mind again.
I really do have something serious to talk to you about, you know.
No amount of stolen kisses or gentle teasing would erase whatever it was that still bothered her about this. About them. And that left an odd weight deep in his chest.
Across the yard her bedroom window glowed with the light from her bedside lamp. He could see the outline of all the furniture he was so familiar with from this vantage point, but the perspective seemed different now. He imagined her sitting cross-legged somewhere in there, tapping her nails, waiting impatiently until her father retired to bed so the coast was clear. Or was she staring at the clock in the living room, her type A personality choosing an arbitrary time she would allow herself to come over?
He leaned back, arms resting comfortably behind his head and closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. She would be over soon. Then they would talk. And whatever it was that was bothering her, he would make it okay. Whatever she needed from him, he would give it. He would give her everything. Because for the first time in his life, he felt happy. And it was all because of her.
Eventually, he heard the sliding door downstairs open and close. He sat up, ready to go meet her downstairs, but then he heard the soft sounds of her feet padding up the steps to his room on the second floor.
“Hello, Emma,” he said when she appeared in the doorway.
She ignored him, walking past the bed to the desk. She sat down in the chair and turned it toward him, her back to the window.
“You’re going to sit all the way over there?” he teased. When she didn’t budge, he slowly turned his body, ready to stand up and go to her.
“Stay right there,” she said, holding up a firm hand.
He stopped. “May I ask why?”
“Because we need to talk and I can’t talk if you come over here with all…” She motioned vaguely at his bare chest. “That.”
He smiled, leaning back slightly on an elbow. The full moon cast a watery light into his dark room, illuminating her features. God, she was beautiful.
“What would you like to talk about?”
She frowned. “Don’t be cute.”
“I’m being serious.”
“Are you? Because you definitely didn’t seem too serious at dinner.”
Shit. He knew he had pushed it too far. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted to keep this a secret.”
“Do you?”
“Absolutely,” he replied.
