But even as the words left her lips she realized how. He had talked to Nadine. She had already told him.
“Ben called and told me.”
Ah. Yes. That made sense too.
Emma studied his expression—the grim line of his lips, the concern creasing his forehead. He looked sad. Truly sad. And for the first time Emma felt awful at how much she had neglected to think about his feelings about Davina and Montgomery. How he could be heartbroken.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
He laughed, the sound humorless. “Funny, I was going to ask you that question.”
She met his gaze, confused.
“You don’t deserve to be treated like that, Emma,” he continued. “By anyone. Least of all a guy like that. Someone who loves themselves more than they could ever love someone else. That isn’t what love looks like, and I don’t want you coming out of this thinking that it is.”
It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about.
“Wait. Do you mean Montgomery?” She scoffed. “Oh God, no. No, it was nothing like that.”
He stared at her grimly, as if he wasn’t convinced.
She sighed. “I know it looked like there was something there—I even tried to convince myself that there was—but I was never in love with him. Not even close. We barely even dated.” She bit her bottom lip, trying to find the right words. “We never have to talk about Montgomery Knox again.”
Knightley seemed to consider for a moment before he murmured, “He gets everything he wants, then, doesn’t he?”
She stilled. “What do you mean?”
“He swoops in, your attention already waiting for him. He’s funny and charming and generous even when he’s lying. Then he gets to run away and never face any consequences.”
The words stoked her anger back to life. “Isn’t that exactly what you did too?”
He blinked. “What?”
“You picked up and ran away and never bothered to tell anyone why,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes, okay, maybe work was busy, but that’s no excuse. You ignored us, Knightley. You ignored me. And you never told mewhy. You just disappeared and wouldn’t write me back, and I couldn’t even ask you…”
He reached back and hooked his hand behind his neck. The movement pulled his sweater up to reveal a thin sliver of his taut stomach, a trail of hair leading under his waistband. She felt anache that sent a flush to her cheeks, and she quickly looked back to the bottle in her hands.
“So ask me now,” he said. It was almost a whisper.
Her heart stuttered as if it would explode at any moment, as if the fear and the tension would tear her apart if he even said Nadine’s name. She had been so busy being angry at him for not telling her the truth that she hadn’t considered what it would mean if he did.
After a long moment he nodded slowly. “That’s probably smart. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t stay quiet just for the sake of maintaining the status quo. And honestly—” He laughed bitterly again. “I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it. Because you need to. I need to tell you. Even if we both regret it the minute it’s out there, I—”
“Then don’t!” she exclaimed. Her grip on the bottle was so tight she thought it might shatter in her hands. “Don’t say it. If it’s going to change everything, please don’t say it.”
Shit. She had said too much. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth as he stared at her, his expression so pained she felt it in her chest. But he didn’t reply, his eyes traveling across her face to her lips, where they lingered for a long moment. Then he seemed to remember himself and looked down.
A moment. A half second perhaps. That was all he needed to collect himself. Then he turned and disappeared out the French doors.
She stood there in the suffocating silence, staring at the spot where he had been standing.
What was she doing? This was her best friend. Regardless of how much it hurt, she had to be there for him. She had to go and hear whatever it was he had to say, even if it broke her heart.
And with that final thought she launched herself out the door and toward the house across the yard.
CHAPTER 31
“Knightley!” Emma yelled after him, but he was already inside his home, closing the sliding glass door behind him. She sprinted across the yard and threw the door back open, practically falling into the house.
