“I don’t want you to,” he murmured, his hands braced on either side of her hips as he leaned in. “But if I did, I can think of a few ways.”
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks, which were alreadypink, but they were interrupted by the sound of a heavy tread on the stairs. Niko was on his feet on the opposite side of the island by the time Barry appeared on the landing, inviting them to check out his handiwork.
Once he left, they found themselves in the downstairs hallway, a big, blank wall curving around half of the house. The opposite wall was lined with floor-to-ceiling windows, providing a dizzying view.
Niko stood behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. “What do you think? Should I build some shelves for your awards here?”
“Actually…” She glanced back up at him, her eyes searching. “Could I commission you to do a mural? Do you think you’d have enough time?”
Niko was speechless. Even though he had three paintings in the silent auction, he still had never technically been paid for his art. The thought made him simultaneously feel like he wanted to explode with pleasure and like the world’s biggest fraud.
“Um. Or not,” said Merritt hurriedly. “It was just a thought. No pressure.”
“No, I’d love to,” he said. “You’re thinking a giantOf Darkness and Destiny–themed orgy, right?”
Merritt threw her head back and laughed. “You read my mind.”
And even though it was a joke, he didn’t take for granted how precious it was that he had access to her mind at all.
23
As Merritt got ready forthe fundraiser, it felt like every winged insect in the greater Silverton County area was throwing their own party inside her stomach.
For most of the day, she’d been too busy to ruminate, as she, Pam, Freya, Larry, and half the SummerFest board had spent it transforming the Crested Peak Performing Arts Center for the opening-night gala and silent auction. Once she was home, though, her anxieties had no other outlet and began to percolate as soon as she stepped into the shower.
It wasn’t Niko she was concerned about, though she had no doubt she was absorbing some of his nerves about being onstage. If she was being honest, it had started the night before, when she’d gotten a text from Nora confirming she was in town and would be bringing her entire blended family tonight.
Of course Merritt was looking forward to seeing Nora. She’d invited her, after all. But at the same time, her life in LA felt sodisconnected from the life she’d been building here, and apprehension rippled through her at the idea of bridging the two. In so many ways, Nora was inextricably tied to the version of herself she wanted to bury, the one she was ashamed still had witnesses.
But what was she really worried about, when she drilled down to it? That just the sight of Nora would be enough to send her backsliding to square one? She had to stop thinking of the worst version of herself as the real one, any progress she’d made since then a mask flimsy enough to be blown off at the slightest breeze.
By the time she’d finished blow-drying her hair, she’d talked herself down enough to apply her makeup without her hands shaking, making her eyes wide, lashes full, cheeks flushed. She slipped on the same dress that Niko had remembered from two birthdays ago—dark red with a low scoop neck, tight around her waist and flowing loose around her hips.
She rode over with Dev and Olivia, quiet and preoccupied in the back seat. The PAC had been built only a few years ago, a sprawling, rustic-meets-modern building replacing the smaller bungalow that had been around since the eighties, and the glow from its massive asymmetrical windows spilled out into the street as they pulled up.
The atrium was already packed when they walked inside, full of familiar and unfamiliar faces alike, perusing the silent auction items and snagging appetizers catered by Gwendolyn’s as a jazz trio from Silverton played softly in the background.
Olivia reached over and squeezed Merritt’s shoulders. “It looks incredible in here,” she said, beaming. “You did it.”
Merritt resisted the urge to brush off the praise, to point out how many other people had been involved in putting this together. Obviously, Olivia knew that. So she just squeezed Oliviaright back, allowing a sense of accomplishment to fill her up until she was sure she must be glowing as warm and bright as the building itself.
After visiting the bar to get drinks, the three of them slowly walked down one line of tables displaying the listings that Merritt had set up only a few hours previously.
“How is Al’s Big Basket of Hats already up to four hundred dollars?” asked Dev, eyebrows raised.
“Well, apparently the retail value is double that, so it’s still a bargain,” said Olivia, leaning closer to examine it.
“I mean, of course it says that. Al sets the prices,” Dev grumbled.
Merritt felt a hand on her shoulder, so unexpected that she jumped. She turned to see Nora, tall and lithe and knockout gorgeous as ever, smiling back at her.
It felt like Merritt had been plunged into an ice bath at the sight of her—bracing, refreshing, and a complete shock to the system. She couldn’t stop from throwing herself directly into Nora’s arms, taking a shaky, gulping inhale of her familiar perfume and all the complicated memories that came with it. Nora held her tightly for a long moment, enough for Merritt to know that the feeling was mutual.
“I’m so glad to see you,” Merritt said, her voice thick. Nora nodded against the side of her head.
“You, too.” As they pulled away, Nora held on to both her hands, appraising her from head to toe. “You look really good.” The way she said it, Merritt knew she wasn’t just referring to her outfit.
She’d put on at least thirty pounds since she’d gone into treatment, and she’d needed every last one of them—bones no longer protruding where they weren’t supposed to, hair and skin no longer dull and lifeless. Even though they’d seen each othera handful of times in the interim, it was clear which image of her was still dominant in Nora’s mind.
