But since he was spending the day with Merritt, they’d probably go out that night, too. Even though she’d gotten much more social over the last couple of months, he already knew she wouldn’t be interested in this invitation.
“Um…” he hedged, wavering between trying to get Merritt included anyway or just turning Skylar down outright, but then he spotted Merritt coming out of the coffee shop.
She came up beside Skylar, her gaze flicking between the two of them, and no, Niko definitely wasn’t imagining it—she bristled. It was for only a split second, though, and she composedherself before Skylar noticed her, the two of them exchanging awkwardsorrys andexcuse mes as Merritt squeezed her way to the passenger seat.
“Maybe next time,” said Niko, as Merritt slid in beside him and handed him his coffee. “I appreciate it, though.”
Skylar’s smile was forced. “No worries, I know it’s last-minute.” She glanced at Merritt, then back to him, clearly trying to figure out what was going on between them. Niko wished he had the answer. “Just hit me up if you want to hang out sometime. You have my Insta, right?”
Niko shifted in his seat, all too aware of Merritt’s stiff form between him and Skylar as she sipped her coffee, looking straight ahead. “Yeah, I do. Sounds good. Have fun tonight.” He leaned across Merritt to roll up the window again, careful not to bump her. For her part, she was so rigid he was tempted to check that she was still breathing.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Merritt said, as soon as they pulled onto the main street. “I hope you didn’t turn her down on my account.”
Niko shook his head. “I don’t like to trip around people I don’t know that well.”
“Fair enough.” She took another drink of her coffee. “Are you going to…hit her up?” She said the last part if not dripping with sarcasm, then at least damp with it.
He glanced over. “Do you think I should?”
They held each other’s gaze long enough for the person behind them at the stop sign to honk in annoyance. Niko returned his eyes to the road, but his attention was still on Merritt, the tension between them so thick he felt like he could write his name in it.
She shrugged. “She’s cute. Seems nice. Definitely into you. Why not?”
Niko’s chest tightened. There it was: undeniable proof that she wasn’t interested in him. But this was what he’d wanted, right? And it was a good thing, knowing for sure, without taking the risk and humiliating himself.
So why did he feel like a slowly deflating balloon?
“Okay,” he said. “Maybe I will.”
“Good,” she said, and it was probably wishful thinking, but it didn’t really sound like she meant it.
11
Later that afternoon, Merritt stoppedat home to shower and change, since their paint-testing adventure had, predictably, ended with most of the samples splattered all over their clothes.
They were still supposed to meet up at Off the Rails that night, but as she peeled off her shirt and stepped into the shower, she wondered if it wasn’t way past time to pump the brakes on the whole thing. When she’d spotted Skylar leaning into the window of Niko’s truck, she’d felt a territorial jolt that rattled her to her core. What was worse, though, was the wounded way he’d glanced over at her when she’d given him the green light to go after her.
By this point, it was obvious that he was into her—so obvious that she felt stupid for ever questioning it. She regularly caught him staring at her with such naked puppy-dog longing that it made her stomach flutter. Because those looks weren’tjust “I want to fuck you” looks. Those she could handle. There was something else in those looks, something sweet and aching that conjured a vision of something she definitely wasn’t, something the two of them definitely couldn’t be together.
It was easy to forget that, though, when she was with him. Nothing about the way she responded to Niko made sense to her, and that felt dangerous. He activated a part of her that had been lying dormant for years, the part that craved chaos, targeting him in the crosshairs of her all-consuming obsession.
She wanted so badly to believe that she’d changed, but was increasingly starting to worry that New and Improved Merritt just hadn’t been tested yet. So far, she’d managed to behave. But not enough to cut things off before they went over the edge.
If she’d abandoned any hope of keeping things professional with him, the least she could do was make sure it stayed platonic.
Merritt took her time in the shower, deep-conditioning her hair, shaving and exfoliating her body, slathering herself with lotion afterward until the air cooled and the steam evaporated from the mirror.
The house had been empty when she let herself in, but she heard voices in the hallway as she slipped back into her room to get dressed. She wrapped her hair in a towel, threw on leggings and a sweatshirt, and headed into the living room, where Olivia and Dev were on the couch, her feet in his lap as he rubbed them.
“If it bothers you, why don’t you say something to her?” Dev was saying as Merritt walked in.
“I can’t,” Olivia protested. “I just have to get over it.”
“Get over what?” asked Merritt, trying not to let her trepidation show.
Olivia tilted her head back to look at her. “One of my direct reports at work. It feels like she’s being passive-aggressive withher emojis on Teams. Like, I’ll ask her to do something, and she’ll just send me a smiley face.”
Merritt laughed, the tension in her chest releasing. Of course they weren’t talking about her. “How would you prefer she responded?”
