She pulled out her phone and opened her calendar, which wasn’t that helpful because she wasn’t great about tracking it, but as soon as she started scrolling, she knew it had been at least six weeks, since before SummerFest.
Fuck.Fuck.
Her cycle wasn’t the most regular, and she’d gone longer than that without a period before for no real reason—though it had been a while, especially now that she took better care of herself.
She stood in front of the pregnancy tests, feeling like someone had filled her shoes with cement.
If she bought one here, now, the odds of gossip spreading were pretty good. She considered driving an hour to the bigger pharmacy in Silverton, or maybe ordering one online, but now that it was in her head, she couldn’t bear the idea of waiting one second longer than she needed to.
As she went to check out, she saw that the only register was staffed by Diedre, Bruce’s teenage daughter. Merritt had always liked Diedre, and hoped she could count on her adolescent indifference to keep her safe. Sure enough, Diedre barely gave the test a second glance as she rang up Merritt’s items, cracking her gum and delivering her total in a bored monotone.
When she got back to the house, she placed her shopping bags on the counter, but her phone buzzed before she could start unpacking.
It was a text from her mother:Missed my flight. Tell Olivia I’m sorry.
She’d barely finished reading it before she hit the callback button.
“Merritt?” her mother said mildly when she picked up the phone.
“Are you still at the airport?” Merritt was already barging down the hallway into her bedroom, shoving her laptop open.
“Yes, but—”
“Hold on.” Merritt tapped on her keyboard. There were no direct flights from Boston, and her mother had missed the only one with the connection from Denver to the tiny Silverton airport, but there were plenty to Denver alone. “I’m booking you on the next flight to Denver, and I’ll schedule a car to bring you here.”
“How long is the drive?”
“Four hours.”
Her mother sighed. “So a five-hour plane ride, and then another four hours in the car, just to miss it? I don’t know, Merritt…I’m already exhausted from this weekend. Why don’t I just head home now, and soon enough I’ll be there for her twenty-four seven if she needs it.”
“Because she needs you to be here for hernow,” Merritt hissed. “We already switched it to today to accommodate you. It doesn’t matter if you’re late. All that matters is that you make a fucking effort, because for some inexplicable reason, Olivia still thinks you’re capable of it.” She heard her mother make a noise of indignation, but Merritt cut her off. “Your boarding pass is in your email. I’ll see you tonight.” She hung up the phone before her mother had the chance to say anything else.
Merritt sat on the end of her bed, head in her hands, taking a few long, deep breaths, calming herself down as best she could before she stepped back into the hallway.
The effort turned out to be pointless, though, because as soon as she saw Olivia standing next to the half-unpacked grocery bags, her posture rigid, Merritt’s blood pressure skyrocketed again.
“What is this?” Olivia asked, quiet and strained. Even without seeing it, Merritt knew exactly what she was holding.
Merritt froze in place, their eyes locked.
“Are you pregnant?” Olivia’s voice was trembling.
“Um. I don’t know. That’s why I bought it.” She moved forward, awkwardly navigating around Olivia, who was holding the box like it was radioactive. “I didn’t mean for you to—”
“Take it. Take it right now.” Olivia thrust it into her hands. Merritt took it, then looked back up at her sister.
“Are you sure?”
Olivia’s face went bright red. “Are youfuckingkidding me?”
It seemed like the path of least resistance, so, without a word, Merritt opened the box, pulling out the test and instructions. Olivia trailed after her, stationing herself outside the bathroom door as Merritt shut it.
She unfolded the instructions with shaking hands, reading them three times before she was able to internalize the complex process of “pee on this end.”
When she was done, she realized she’d left her phone in her room. “Can you set a timer for fifteen minutes?” she called through the door.
“Are you just going to sit in there the whole time?” Olivia replied.
