That glimmer of understanding about what she’d actually been looking for had been so disturbing that she’d shut the whole thing down before Dean’s hand could even make its way up her shirt. He hadn’t seemed to care much, but he’d been drunk enough to take her up on her offer to crash there for the night, stripping off his shirt and passing out facedown on her couch before she’d finished brushing her teeth, out the door by the time she woke up the next morning.
She didn’t blame Shane for being pissed that they’d made a scene by leaving together, but she’d assumed Dean had told him that it ended there.
Shane’s brow creased. “You went home together. He spent the night.”
“Yeah, on mycouch. He didn’t tell you?”
He looked even more stricken. “He, um. He did. I just…I didn’t believe him.”
The words hung in the air for several long seconds as Lilah struggled to process them, the thick, syrupy muddle of her thoughts no longer a comfort.
“So, wait a minute. This whole time, you’ve been mad at me for something I didn’t evendo? That Deantoldyou I didn’t do?”
Shane put his drink down on a nearby table and ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. “Yeah, but you weregoingto.”
“What are you, the thought police? Fine, yes, I was going to, but Ididn’t. I couldn’t.” She saw something shift in his expression and hurried to continue. “The point is thatyouare so fucking obsessed with hating me that you didn’t even believe your ownbrotherthat we didn’t. Which, by the way, I assume you haven’t been holding this same grudge againsthimthe whole time.”
“No, but—”
“And why is that? Bro code? Double bro code, because he’s your actual brother? Guess I can’t compete withthat.” Even as she said it, she knew she should back off, that she’d made her point, that her lacerating tone was unnecessary. But she was drunk, she was pissed, and she could never fucking quit while she was ahead.
“Because he didn’tknow!” Shane thundered, just as worked up as she was.
She suddenly noticed how red his eyes were, the hazy, unfocused look in them. Neither of them was in a state to be having this conversation. She couldn’t stop herself, though.
“Didn’t know what? That we were”—she lowered her voice just in time, conscious that they were still in public—“together? You didn’t bother to tell him?”
Shane exhaled in frustration. “No, he didn’t know that I—that we—” He gestured between them. “Just—everything. With us. He didn’t get it. Doesn’t.”
Lilah stared at him, baffled. “Okay, well, he and I have that in common, because I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
It seemed like maybe he was about to say something else—his face flushed, posture tense—but instead he just shook his head resignedly before turning and skulking back toward the party.
“Use yourwords,Shane!” she hollered at his back before she could stop herself. She winced as a few heads turned toward them from inside, her outburst clearly audible through the glass.Fuck. Hopefully this wouldn’t wind up in some fucking tabloid.
She took a few deep breaths and headed back inside, too, making a beeline for the bar once she clocked that he wasn’t anywhere near it.
“Sounds like therapy’s going well,” she heard Natalie say dryly over her shoulder.
Lilah choked out a laugh. “Glad I’m not the one paying for it.” The bartender handed her her seltzer, and she dug around in her purse to find a few bucks to tip.
Natalie leaned against the bar next to her. “It’s pretty wild. I’ve been working with him for two and a half years now, and he’s one of the most laid-back people I’ve ever met. Except around you.”
“Well, lucky me. He must like me the best, then,” Lilah snarled, her frustration flaring again.
Natalie laughed, holding up her hands defensively. “Whoa, okay. I’m not the one you’re mad at, remember?”
Lilah let out a full-body exhale, the bar at her back the only thing preventing her from totally collapsing. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” She took a long drink of her seltzer. “I think that might be my cue to get out of here.”
Natalie frowned sympathetically. As if she’d been summoned, Annie sidled up to Lilah’s shoulder, high heels dangling from one hand.
“Ready to go?”
Lilah turned to look at her. “You’re still here? What happened to Kenny?”
Annie grimaced. “He kept trying to stick his fingers in my armpits.”
“What?” exclaimed Lilah and Natalie in unison.
