“All right, solid choice,” Joey said. “A little boring, but solid. Shane, let’s see your answer. What does Lilah like to eat on set?”
Shane turned over one of his oversized cards to face Lilah and the cameras. When she saw what he’d written, she shocked herself by throwing her head back and laughing—her first genuine reaction of the night.
The card readLEAN POCKETS AND RED BULL.
Joey laughed, too, clapping like a trained seal. “Your cover’s blown, Lilah. I knew that ‘almonds’ thing sounded fishy.”
Lilah exchanged looks with Shane. “No comment.”
“All right, all right, I see what’s happening here. Let’s keep it moving, then. Shane, who was your first celebrity crush? Getting into the really hard-hitting questions now,” Joey added under his breath, shooting the camera an exaggeratedly world-weary glance.
“My first celebrity crush?” He took a moment to think about it. “I gotta say…Ginger Spice.”
Joey nodded emphatically. “Good choice, man, good choice. Right there with you. Lilah, did you get it?”
Lilah felt a smug thrill in her stomach as she revealed her card:GINGER SPICE.
“Nice work,” Joey said. “You know, Lilah, you’ve got kind of a Ginger Spice thing going on yourself.” He addressed the next question to Shane. “Does she ever wear that little Union Jack dress for you?”
Lilah laughed, but in every way except physically, she was already in the scalding hot shower she knew she’d need later to scrub this interview off her.
Shane’s face was somber. “Actually, I’m usually the one wearing it.”
The crowd hollered and whistled as Joey grimaced. “Now,that’san image I didn’t need.”
Lilah rolled her eyes. “Can we move on, please?” She meantit to sound playful, but as soon as it came out, she felt the caustic edge to it.
Joey straightened his cards. “Okay. I’m sensing this game is wearing out its welcome, but luckily we’re on the last one. This is for you, Lilah.” He assumed a serious expression, delivering every word with melodramatic gravitas. “Most. Embarrassing. Moment.”
Lilah froze. She looked at Shane, trying to figure out what he might have said. The answer was obvious: her movie. Her agent had told Joey’s producers that the topic was off-limits for interview banter, but Shane could easily go rogue. But he wouldn’t actually write that, would he? It would just makehimlook bad.
“Uh…” She stalled for a moment, praying something else would come to her. Suddenly, it did. “Oh! One time when we were shooting, I was wearing these really tight pants that were made out of this, like, thin satiny material, and we were doing a scene where I kept having to crouch down over and over, and then finally…” She trailed off, scrunching up her face.
“You ripped ’em?” Joey supplied.
“I ripped ’em,” she confirmed with a self-deprecating laugh, the audience following suit.
They both looked over at Shane. It seemed like he was turning the card over in slow motion, her heart pounding in her ears, her brain struggling to unscramble the letters written on it:
RIPPED HER PANTS ON SET.
She felt a rush of relief so intense that she was dizzy for a moment. Declining to humiliate her on national television was a pretty low bar for him to clear, but she appreciated it all the same.
The crowd cheered at their success, Joey pausing for aminute to wait for it to die down. “I’d like to seethoseouttakes, if you know what I mean,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at the camera.
She smiled, frozen. She knew the good-natured lech thing was part of his shtick, but it also felt like every hair on her body was standing on end. In any other circumstance, she’d have no problem dressing him down or removing herself from the situation altogether, but right now, she had two options, neither of them good: call it out and look like a humorless bitch, or say nothing and look like a doormat.
But to her astonishment, Shane swooped in with a third option she hadn’t considered.
“No, I don’t know what you mean,” he replied, without a trace of humor in his voice.
Joey’s smile faltered. “Hey, come on. It was just a joke.”
“I don’t get it,” Shane said evenly, fixing an unwavering stare on Joey. “Explain it to me.”
The audience tittered uncomfortably.
Finally, Joey pulled at his collar exaggeratedly. “Jeez, tough crowd.” He switched back to address the camera, smoothly transitioning them out from the segment, thanking them for appearing, and bumping the show back to commercial. She had no doubt that that last exchange would be cut from the final episode before it aired that evening.
