Grey seemed to sense the shift in his mood and nuzzled deeper into his neck. He craned his head to look at her.
“Doyouwant kids?”
She looked up in alarm. “We didn’t run out of condoms, did we?”
He laughed. “Just curious. That seems like the type of thing our friend Sugar might ask; we should probably be on the same page.”
She pursed her lips and considered it, her hand sliding down to rest on her abdomen almost unconsciously. “I don’t know. I like kids, I guess. But I’ve never felt strongly about growing my own. People keep telling me I will once I turn thirty, which, whatever. Kind of condescending. Maybe they’re right. For now, I could take or leave ’em.”
“I get that. I hadn’t thought much about it, either, until I had them. I ended up with some pretty great ones, though.”
She smirked. “I wouldn’t know, I’m contractually bannedfrom ever meeting them.” He laughed, and she snuggled back against him. “I feel like the miracle of life should be off the table. That one’s kind of a gimme.”
“Fine. You tell me yours while I think of something else.”
She put her phone down and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, pulling it straight as if to inspect it for split ends.
“So…the summer after sixth grade, I got cast in my first big movie.”
“What was it?”
“The Sister Switch?”It was a question, like she doubted he’d heard of it.
He looked at her in surprise. “You were in that? My kids love that movie—I’ve probably seen it fifteen times.”
“Sort of. Not really. I was Morgan Mitchell’s double. So, like, all the scenes that had both twins were shot with both of us, switching off who was playing who, and then they spliced them together in post so they were both her.”
He stroked her hair. “And that’s your most treasured memory?”
She half shrugged. She toyed with the palm of his other hand, tracing her fingers over it as she spoke. “I guess so. It was my first time on a big movie set. I mean, I’d been on set before, I’d done commercials and procedurals and soaps and everything, but that was nothing compared to this. We shot in Paris, in Vermont, in Big Sur. Morgan and I got really close; it was like actually having a sister. The whole set was like a big family. It was nice. I felt really…cared for. I feel like I’ve been chasing that experience ever since,” she finished softly.
He turned her palm over so it was flat against his. “Are you still in touch with Morgan at all?”
She shook her head. “We were for a while. We would see each other once or twice a year, whenever she was in New York. Wekind of drifted apart when…well. You know. I wrote to her the first time she went to rehab, she sent me a nice note back. We DM sometimes. She was so sweet when I knew her. It’s sad. I don’t think she’s ever had good people around her. You want to talk about scary stage moms, hers was…intense.”
“I used to see her out all the time. Morgan, I mean. Well, actually, her mom, too, sometimes. We partied together a few times; she must not have even been twenty-one yet. She was pretty wild.”
“Yeah.” Grey sounded a million miles away. “I think about her a lot, actually. Like if I had been more successful. Maybe that would’ve been me.”
“Maybe. You’d have to be able to handle more than one drink per night, though.”
Grey laughed, and the sound made his heart feel like it was about to burst.
“Okay. You’ve had enough time to think about it. Whattaya got?”
Ethan took a long moment before he answered. He moved his arm from around her shoulders down to her waist, pressing her closer against him. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face deep into the crook of his shoulder. Though the gesture aroused him, naturally, it made him feel something else, too. Brave.
“When I was growing up, things were…not great. At home. I spent a lot of time at…at Sam’s. With his family. There were times when I basically lived at his house. For months.”
He hesitated. Grey gave a little murmur of sympathy, her lips brushing his neck. He gave her thigh a firm squeeze before continuing.
“One summer—I think I was twelve? Thirteen? Some cousin let his family use their beach house in Cape May, and I went with them. We were there for two weeks. Sam and I would take ourbikes out every morning and be gone all day, out on the beach, on the boardwalk. We’d come back to the house and his dad would be grilling. We’d watch movies, make fires on the beach, look at the stars. It was just…peaceful. I knew everything was going to be okay. Everything at home…it didn’t matter. Nothing else felt real.”
He felt Grey smile against his neck.
“How wholesome.”
“Did I mention I also got to second base for the first time? Under the boardwalk.”
