“I’m a mess,” he says. “I’ll just sit here.”
“You could shower if you want,” I offer. “I mean, I don’t mind how you—look.” I gulp. “Or smell. It’s up to you.”
His lips twitch. “What clothes would I change into, Paige?”
“I’ve got a couple of oversized Teletubbies onesies.”
“Ah,” he says. “Soyou’rethe supplier.”
“For…?”
He rotates his baseball cap, so the back is facing front on his forehead. “The senior athletes who hazed me as a freshman.”
“I worried no one had told you.”
He smirks as I set the guitar on the couch, then dart to the kitchen to grab two waters and two beers. Liam accepts my offerings, chugging down the water quickly and then popping the tab of the beer can.
“I’m ready,” he proclaims.
I smile at him fondly, then pull the guitar off the couch and sit near him on the floor with my legs crossed. “I’ve been learning about different song structures,” I explain. “Trying to figure out what I like. So, these all sound completely different.”
He nods. “And they’re all about Evan?”
“Yes.”
He clears his throat, takes a sip of his beer. “Okay.”
Rip off the Band-Aid,I think, and start to play.
The dark in here makes this whole thing feel like an unexposed secret. Liam drops his head against the couch and lets his eyes fall closed, which somehow makes playing easier on me, and I think he knows that.
The first song is slow-paced. It’s called “Silent Words” and it’s about everything I regret holding back when Evan and I were together.
If our words had colors, mine would be blue
But you couldn’t see them from a different room
What does it feel like to speak on an exhale?
I’m holding my breath still, the words have gone long stale
When I’m finished playing, Liam lifts his head and smiles at me, his cheeks hitching toward his eyes.
“Beautiful.”
“You think?”
“And fucking depressing.”
I laugh, strumming once. “This one’s happier. It’s just about me, after we broke up.”
I play him “Fixed It,” a song with lyrics that mostly sound like a story.
We broke up on a Tuesday then I went for a run
Bought a concert ticket no regard for the money
Sad girls made him happy, but I hated the script, so
