“How many more of the old ones do you have left to play for us during sound check?” Penelope asks.
“Today’s the last one.”
She grins. “Fantastic. Because I’m ready to start writing to track.”
Chapter 26
June, Four Years Ago
The thing about Folly’s reappearance in my life is I’d imagined it only a million times.
I imagined going on vacation somewhere tropical and catching sight of her across the tiki bar, laughing with some guy. Maybe even the one she’d been dating before they left town.
I imagined getting a text from someone in Bristol and finding out she’d been back home, unannounced, for months.
I even imagined her famous on the television, or as a shampoo model on the side of my bus stop.
What I never imagined was Folly showing up in Knoxville to findme.
It’s like the universe coordinated the whole thing: as soon as Zara moves to Manhattan, drop Folly back into the mix.
Liam and I are headed into my apartment—half empty now that Zara has cleared out, and soon to be completely empty when our lease ends in less than a month—when I spot Folly Lancaster sitting in front of my door.
My immediate reaction, following shock, is to assess her head to toe to make sure she’s okay. But as soon as I ascertain that she’s fine—put together, in fact, with her hair and makeup done, her outfit freshly ironed, smelling like a spring breeze and smiling wide,as if I’m her favorite person in the world—my concern slices into anger.
“Are you fuckingkiddingme, Folly?”
She sighs. “Let it out.”
“Ihateyou!” I scream, the floodgates behind my eyes opening wide. She flinches, and it feels good. “It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen you, a year since you’ve texted me back. You missed Zara’s graduation, when we wereall here, and choose to show up now when it’s just me? If you want money, I don’t have any.”
“I don’t want money, Paige—”
“Then what do youwant?” I cry. “Because this isn’t fair.” Peripherally, I’m aware Liam is holding me somehow, but I’m not cognizant enough to feel the constraints of it. “You don’t get to come here and smile and expect me to hug you and say I missed you when I never wanted to miss you at all. You leftme, the sister who always stayed near you and talked to you and looked up to you and—”
“I was not worthy of being your role model, Paige.” She stands up, her voice steady. “If anything, it was the opposite.”
“That’s not a good enough reason to abandon somebody,” I seethe. Then, my heaviest blow: “You turned into Mom.”
Her hands go up, her eyes flashing to Liam’s behind me. “I’m gonna do a lap around the building. Why don’t you go inside, and I’ll come back when you’re ready?”
The meanest part of me wants to insist she shouldn’t bother. But I can’t say it out loud, not even when I’m like this.
I don’t want her to leave again.
She walks past us, and then Liam’s fiddling with my keys for the door. As soon as we’re inside, he leads me toward the couch. Then I’m crying against his chest like some incensed, inconsolable, dramatic child. Nothing about it is dainty or reserved.
It’s like my heart knows: Now that Folly is here, I’m allowed to experience the full range of emotions I suppressed when she wasn’t.Confusion, abandonment, rage. Even guilt. For carrying on with my life, trying not to think of her.
Liam doesn’t offer a flimsy excuse on her behalf or mutter instant-release words of consolation. He just holds me until my sobs quiet, my sniffs go steady, my breath becomes regular. I don’t even have the capacity to feel embarrassed.
In fact, I’mnotembarrassed, because thatwasn’tan overreaction. It was justmyreaction.
A knock on the front door comes a while later. My chest floods with relief.
I whisper, “I don’t want you to leave.”
I know how desperate that sounds right now, but I’m too overcome to care.
