“I was drunk and heartbroken,” I say. “I wanted a moment away from the bonfire crowd, and I spotted Will Grant down at the far end of the beach.”
I can still see the image of him that night so vividly: his knees pointed at the sky, hands behind him fisting the sand, hair flapping with the breeze coming off the waves. Something had pulled me closer. I’d stumbled my way over and sat down beside him, offering the last dregs of my Blue Raspberry Lemonade Smirnoff. He drank it in one pull as I let the salty air fill up my lungs. Then I exhaled a liquor-soaked breath over his profile.
My girlfriend dumped me this morning,he told me, his gaze not breaking from the ocean.
I was down in Rosemary Beach as a guest of the Grant family, so I’d borne witness to Will’sextragrumpy mood that whole day. Zoe had joked earlier by the pool he’d probably had another scary dream—she assured me he was a sleep talker and woke up often from night frights—but I thought maybe he’d gotten a rejection email from a college he’d applied to. A breakup, I hadn’t been expecting.
I don’t remember asking Will why Amber dumped him. I don’t remember caring, too swallowed by my own grief in that moment.
Good riddance,I said bitterly, choking back tears that would have alarmed him without context.Amber sucks.
You never even met Amber,Will said.
Zoe told me about Amber. She sucks.
Will had laughed at that, finally casting his head my way. The laugh was scratchy, scorching, and his eyes had the first drip of mirth I’d ever seen from him aimed at me.
I ruined it by sayingMy grandmother just died. Or, I mean, she’s been dead for a couple hours. But my mom just told me. And I really loved her, a lot.
Will said nothing, though I saw his eyes dampen. After five seconds, he pulled me against his side. Impossibly, it felt like the only right thing for him to do. I rested my head on his shoulder. We were not friends. We were not enemies. We were just two people withnothing in common except for Zoe and, right then, a sadness the other person could match.
Do you want to tell me about her?he asked.
No. It’ll make me cry.
You can cry if you want to.
We don’t know each other well enough for that,I said with emphasis.
I could go get Zoe,he offered.
No, Zoe is flirting with Forrest, and she has a crush on Forrest, so I don’t want to ruin their moment,I explained.
His focus on my face seemed to concentrate. There was a divot between his eyebrows. Sand on one temple.But your grandmother just died, and Zoe is your best friend.
Yes, Zoe is my best friend, and Zoe deserves a best friend who doesn’t put their own needs above hers all the time,I retort. More bitingly than I probably should have, given the girl I was referencing had just dumped Will anyway.
His gaze went past mine, as if searching the bonfire for Zoe.
How is she?he asked.Not tonight. But in general, the whole year?
You’re the one who lives with her,I said, my voice constantly on the brink of wobbling. But whether Will knew what he was doing or not, he was a good distraction from the weight of sadness pressing on my chest.
Zoe and I haven’t talked much the past year,he admitted.
Well, she’s happy, I think,I told him.It’s hard moving to a new city as a senior. I’m sure you know.He nodded, blue eyes on mine. One of his arms was still around me. The other dug into the sand, gripping it.
We were quiet for a few seconds, looking at each other for what felt like the first time.
I started dating Amber,Will said,because I trust Zoe’s judgment more than anyone’s.
The words felt like his defense.
If that were true, you would have warmed up to me by now,I argued.
What, like you’ve warmed up to me?he snarked back, though his tone was playful.
Somehow, our knees had fallen against each other. Our faces were still tilted in. Will’s gaze landed on my lips for a second time.
