“I’m almost done,” I say. “I still have to get to the serious part.”
I shuffle my feet and look down to calm my nerves before meeting his Blue Ridge Mountain eyes again. “The thing is, Will. The thing is, even if youhadn’tcome into my life this summer, Camila still would have left Revenant. Margaret Dwyer still wouldn’t have done a very good job planning the pop-up. I’d still be working with that shitty consulting firm, and I still would have tried to become B Corp Certified on what I can now see is an absurdly condensed timeline. I probably still would have ignored Nora Lindberg, and she might still have published about me. All of that is true, even if we had never met, even if you’d never crashed your bike into my bumper that day. It would all still be true. Basically, what I’m sayingis I wasalwaysgoing to burn out at the end of this summer. I wasalwaysgoing to fall apart.”
I swipe at a salty tear on my cheek, recalling his words from Barcelona.
You’re a revenant, Josephine. And if you fall apart again, you’ll put yourself back togetheragain.Because you’re strong.
“But you told me you’d be there to hold my broken pieces,” I go on. “Andthat’sthe difference. You lived up to your word. You never pressured me. You gave me space to make a tough decision on my own.”
“I didn’t go very far,” Will says. His eyes are kind.
“I know, and that’s special, too,” I say. “I quit my job yesterday. Maybe it’s anti-girl-bossified of me to say this, but part of me quit for you. Part of me quit forme,too, but the thing is, I love you, which means you’re a factor in my decisions. Everything I think about is in reference to you.”
“That’s my line,” Will says.
“Now it’sourline.”
Will tugs on my arm then, pulling me into a fierce hug. He smells like warm cinnamon in sunlight, feels like a safe place. His arms trail down my back and haul my waist against his, pushing our bodies flush.
“I’ve got no fucking clue if I’ll go back to Revenant,” I whisper to him. “No clue. I am made up of broken pieces right now. My best friend is leaving, and I don’t know if I can have a healthy relationship with my company ever again, and my anxiety still spikes when I think about all the stuff being said about me online. But I can live with the fact that somebody in Wisconsin doesn’t think I’m a good person if the people whomatterto me do. Ifyoudo.”
After a few beats of silence, Will says, “Now?”
I laugh, the sound garbled. “Sure, go ahead.”
Will noses along my neck, and my skin sparks at his touch. His hands clutch onto my hips. “I missed you.”
“That was too easy,” I whisper.
“Because I’m only giving you a moment to breathe,” Will whispers. “I have things to say to you, too.”
“Okay.”
He hugs me close, runs his hand through my hair. “Brooks and I are going to start a catering company.”
I smile against his chest. “That’s amazing. I happen to know someone with entrepreneurial experience, plenty of free time, and about a million favors to pay back who could help you.”
“What does she charge?” he murmurs.
“I’ll have to defer to my consultant on that.”
We’re delirious as our hands roam each other. Will pulls away just enough to meet my eyes and bends his head in my direction. The sunlight is making his eyes iridescent. “You’re still a person with a meaningful existence, Josie, even now that you want to be different than you were.Especiallynow.” His voice is low, his tone sure. “You’re my favorite person. You’ve guided me in so many ways.”
“It’s mutual,” I say. Which feels wholly insufficient and is also exactly what I mean.
Will shakes his head, biting his lip. He moves his hands up to my cheeks, holding each of them. “I’ve spent the last few days with my mom and my sister revisiting all our favorite places in Austin. Doing our favorite things. I used to think I couldn’t be here for too long without it stinging because of the memories of Dad. But now, when I think of Austin, I think of you. Us. Here, together, in our home. For years now, I’ve been untethered, fighting my instincts, but looking for a feeling of peace. I found it the day I ran into your car.Youare the good feeling.”
I grab his wrists, drag his arms back around my waist. “In that case,” I breathe, “I think we should just be together.”
“Because we both fucking deserve it,” Will adds. “Because I’m pretty sure everything in my life—everything I’ve done, every choiceI’ve made—has pointed me straight back to you. How I love you, why I love you, the way I love you.”
I grip the back of his neck, feeling overwhelmed that I might possibly be this lucky.
“I didn’t think this would ever happen to me,” I admit, the words tripping off my tongue.
His lips graze mine, close but still resisting. “Being this much in love?”
“Being at peace,” I explain, repeating his same sentiment. “That’s why I get to love you. You helped me find it.”
