“I chose the career I chose,” Will explains, his gaze intense, “because there were a few years after my parents got divorced when our financial situation was precarious. We’d never been well off, but after, it got worse. My mom didn’t make much money, between her pottery job and my dad’s alimony payments. Zoe and I assumed all our own debt with our college educations. A high-paying jobin investment banking was the safe bet, and when that didn’t work out, consulting was a natural transition. It’s not even that I hate my career anymore. But I’ve been disappointed by a lot of the people in my industry, and I hate the way it’s made me feel about myself. The things I’ve done being a part of it.”
His words wash over me like a dense, calming fog.
“I’m telling you all this,” Will whispers, one hand snaking around my waist while the other pushes hair out of my eyes, “because I don’t want you to freak out when I say what I’m about to say.”
“You’re moving to Austin,” I guess. Wish. Hope. Pray.
He nods, a tiny smile breaking through his solemn expression. “Already put in an offer on this place. I hope you like it.”
I try to inhale, but it feels like sucking cotton down my windpipe. My muscles are locking up.
“I am freaking out a little bit,” I admit.
Will pulls me against his chest. His hands skate up and down my back. “Talk me through it,” he murmurs.
“I’m, like,reallyhappy about this,” I say. “It feels like the biggest present in the world, a present I don’t deserve and haven’t earned yet.”
“Josie. You are certainly part of the equation, but I didn’t make this decision just for you. I want this for myself. I’ve wanted it for a while now, even before we found each other.” Will’s fingers leave my hair, dance along my knuckles. He likes to absently touch me, I’ve noticed. “Zoe and my mom both think it’s a good idea. I have enough savings at this point to buy this place and even take some time off, figure out what I want to do next.”
Time off.What a beautiful, terrifying concept.
“Won’t Zoe miss having you around?” I ask.
I recall what he said at Zilker Park:New York became our place.Will Zoe hate me for taking Will away from their place?
“She’s got the New York dream job, a tight friend group, and a boyfriend who worships at her altar. I can’t fault him,” Will says with a wry laugh. “And not for lack of trying. They’ve been together for two years now, and I think they’ll be together forever. My mom is happy and healthy with Doug in Nashville. And you—” His hand tightens on mine. “You don’t need me either.”
“That’s not true,” I protest.
Will shakes his head. “I mean that in agoodway, Josie. All the women I thoroughly dated in New York were people I thought I could take care of, and I basically encouraged them to play into it. Hell, I even thought ofyouthat way, in the beginning. I thought if you hired me, I could take care of all your problems for you.” His voice lowers, his mouth at my hair. “But I was never meant to be your hero. I honestly think you were meant to be mine.”
I swallow a lump in my throat. “I don’t always ask for help when I need it. I could be stronger in that way.”
“I know,” Will says, his smile catching near his cheeks. “Iwasthere in Peru when I had to convince you to open the door.”
I laugh through a swollen throat. “Youdidn’t eventellme you were sick.”
He shakes his head. “We’re going to argue about that forever, aren’t we?”
“Forever,” I agree, and it feels like a dangerous promise. “The truth is, Will, I want to be with you all the time. Every day, every hour. So Idoneed you, just so we’re clear.”
“It’s mutual. Even if I tried to explain it to you,” Will whispers, his hands on my face now, “I don’t think you could ever know how badly I ache for you. The way you feel to me is like an inevitable rightness. Like I’m finally trusting my fucking instincts.”
His words unfurl along the back of my neck and spread across my skin underneath my clothes, dissipating every feverish shiver.
“I think about the day we reconnected—how I ran into theback of your car, but it felt more like you crashing your way into the rest of my life—and I work myself into a panic, imagining all the other scenarios of that morning where it didn’t happen. Where we never saw each other. It’snot real,because wedidsee each other, but somehow, I give myself a small heart attack at least once a day picturing a possibility where we might not have.
“Everything I think about is in reference to you. Would you wear this? Have you seen this movie? How many of those vacuum cleaner attachments have you tried so far?”
“Nine,” I whisper.
“I want to be there while you test each one and pick your favorites. I want to carry you around in my arms and then put you down and let you stand on your own two feet while you build something out loud that used to live inside your head. I want to stand on the sidelines and clap for you and then take you somewhere private and fuck you. But mostly, Josie, I want to be a good person with you. Because you make me feel better about myself, just by being you.”
All I manage for a very long time is one single, shaky breath.
His hands drop from my hands to my waist, and in a quick movement, he lifts me onto the kitchen counter and steps between my legs. “Back to the culinary school diploma,” he rumbles. “Do you think I’d be crazy to do that? Give up the past six years of my career to pursue something completely different?”
“Would you leave Revenant in the lurch?” I joke.
