“Oh, there he is!” Saanvi bounces on her heels.
Before I can turn, Alex appears, stoic, speechless, eyes like afinance bro who just realized he fell victim to the sunk cost fallacy. His face is ashen.
I’ve got an inkling the Alex I know isn’t really here at all.
Sara mics him up the same way she did me, and then she runs us through the audio need-to-knows—reminders not to smack the hidden tech with our arms, how to avoid muffling the sound. But I don’t think Alex hears a word of it.
I start to panic then. Because I need Alex right now, and he’s lost somewhere. Which is a problem, because I can’tbehim. Wouldn’t know how to if I tried. His extroverted enthusiasm, his off-the-cuff humor. That’s what’s going to make this thing work. Not me. Never just me.
“Alex,” I say softly when Sara moves away.
His caramel eyes find mine, and he croaks out, “This was a mistake.”
He’s not talking about the video shoot.
My voice is firm, the words a near hiss under my breath. Once I say this, there will be no taking it back. “It wasn’t a mistake. You’re good at this job. People want you here.Iwant you here.”
And holy shit, but I really do mean it.
His face is turned down toward mine, and his head blocks the sun, his features cast in shadow. But even like this, I can see him plain as day. The demons his father brought forth get banished in the sunlight, and he starts to appear again from beneath them. The longer I look, the more Alex comes back, until that familiar face of casual competence is just as maddening as it’s always been—but at least it’s fixed right back where it belongs.
He bites the inside of his cheek. “I can’t believe you just said those words.”
I want you here.
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
Alex grins softly, pushing a hand through his hair to flatten it down, which is mostly unsuccessful. “It’s too late for that.”
Saanvi walks Alex and me through the intro she’s after, warning us when the mics go live. “Keep it simple,” she says. “Name, job title, where you’re from. Someone can also mention what you’re doing today. Alex, you want it?”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“So, Casey, you’ll go first. Don’t worry if you don’t nail the intro on your first try. It takes a while for anyone to find their sea legs on camera.” Saanvi wrinkles her nose with distaste, as if recalling a previous disaster of a video shoot. As long as I don’t cause her to makethatface again, I’ll mark this venture as a success.
The team goes through some final checks and last-minute video setup. Then, I’m saying—in a slightly elevated voice, to a tiny black dot on a little machine—“Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of ‘One Day at Work.’ I’m Casey, a financial analyst here at Little Cooper Publications, and I’m from Tennessee.”
Beside me, Alex waves and flashes a brilliant smile that’ll probably melt hearts. “And I’m Alex, a project manager. I’m from right here, New York City. And today we’re taking you out for a work lunch.”
We get it on the first take, and Saanvi’s head almost explodes. She spins around in a circle, flapping her arms, potentially trying to take off. The rest of the video team looks substantially impressed, too, and I am slightly less embarrassed than I was a few minutes ago.
“Let’s walk,” Saanvi directs. “The team will follow behind you two so we don’t piss off the pedestrians. I don’t like this angle much, but we have to work with nature on this one.”
There isn’t a scrap of actual nature in sight—nothing but industrial buildings, hot dog carts, and cigarette butts on the ground—but I choose not to point this out to Saanvi.
I start to walk. “Should I just assume everything I say from now on is fair game for the final cut?”
“Yes.” Saanvi’s expression is dead serious. “That question included. Adorable.”
The October sun is warm on my back. Behind me, Saanvi whispers lens-glare-related prayers to the clouds. Since it’s only ten past eleven, the lunch crowd hasn’t come out in droves yet, and the sidewalks are just this side of bearable.
“What should we talk about?” Alex asks, aiming his question at the team behind us.
“Whatever you want. This angle is shitty, so we won’t use much of this footage.”
The only thing I want to talk to Alex about right now is the one thing we can’t: his dad.
The dad he left three voicemails for that apparently went unplayed. Maybe even deleted.
