He turned on his heel and stalked away.
“Ned, wait. I can explain,” she pleaded as she hurried after him, but the only way she could explain her actions was by telling him that William had expressly forbidden her from sharing his secret. But even though the younger of her brothers had caught her off guard by revealing his presence to Edward, she still wasn’t ready to break faith with him. “What did Will tell you?”
Once inside his study, Edward went straight to his desk, where a bottle of brandy already stood open.Not a good sign.
“He didn’t tell me anything. I was at White’s. Fiona was alone in her laboratory.” The bleakness of his brother’s gaze sent shivers coursing through her.
“What happened?” Will had been so angry at his brother, but it had never occurred to Charlotte that he might confront Edward before she had a chance to bring him to reason. “Ned, what happened?”
Edward threw down the brandy in one shot. “He knocked her over. Thank God two footmen heard his yelling and came running.”
Charlotte’s knees weakened, and she sank onto the arm of the chaise longue. “Is she well? Is he well?”
Ned slammed his glass onto his desk. “Neither of them is well. Goddamn it, Char. How could you enable this?”
Her fear quickly turned to anger, and she rose to her feet. “How couldIenable this?Youare the one who did this. You sent him off to war. I have been the one tending to his wounds. I have been the one fighting to keep him from killing himself with drink. I have been the one trying to chase the nightmares from his mind. You have no idea what I’ve been doing to save him. It has all been on my shoulders.”
“Then you should have come to me,” Edward bellowed, stepping toward her. “The moment he returned, you should’ve come to me. He is my brother. I had the right to know.”
Unwilling to give her brother any ground, she planted herself in front of him, hands fisted at her hips. He might be taller than she was, but she made up for it in pure fury. “You had the right tonothinguntil he was willing to see you and have only yourself to blame.”
Edward shook out his hands, as though he could fling all his fear and frustration away. “Will is beyond your ability to help.”
Her throat tightened because she knew his words to be true. “I will never give up trying.” She couldn’t, even if it took every ounce of energy in her.
His tone shifted then. Anger became despair. “I don’t know if there’s anything we can do.” His face twisted with guilt and grief, then he buried his head in his hands.
It had been in a moment of anger and fear that Ned had forced William into the army. He’d done his best to reverse the commission, but a contract was a contract and the general had been intractable. William had sent back all of Ned’s letters unopened.
As furious as Charlotte was with her eldest brother, she could not bear to see him in so much pain. Tentatively, she reached out for his fingers and entwined them with hers, squeezing them gently.
“Idid this,” he whispered. “I did this.” They were words she’d shot at him intending to hurt, but hearing them made her insides twist with regret.
“You did not put the bullet in him, brother. You did not make him fall down drunk in a dirty alleyway where his wound got infected. You did not put the laudanum in his hands or the drink in his mouth. You played a role in this, but it is not your fault.”
Edward sank to his knees and sobbed. There was a softwhooshas the door opened. Charlotte looked up. Fiona watched with tears in her eyes, her wrist bandaged.
“Will did nae mean to push me over. He fell at my feet and grabbed my legs and I tumbled. ’Tis just a sprain.”
“His yelling?” Charlotte asked.
“He was pleading with me,” Fi said in a broken voice. “He kept asking how I live with it. How he could live with it.”
They were words Charlotte had heard Will mutter several times this past week.
A tear spilled and tracked down Fi’s cheek. “Charlotte, what did hedo?”
Chapter 24
The doctor had come past and given William a strong sedative, along with instructions to feed him bland food and plain water for the next week. They were told to expect vomiting and shaking and a fight from him, which was why the footmen had bound his hands.
It broke Charlotte’s heart to see him like this, but at the same time, there was a sense of relief. He was getting the help he needed. The help she couldn’t provide.
“Charlie?” His voice was hoarse, and she crossed to his side immediately.
“Brother, I thought you were asleep.”
He swallowed hard and shook his head. “Can’t sleep. Too much screaming.”
