“At least one thing happened according to that ‘destiny’ of yours.” Rakel carefully applied the cotton ball to his wound. Perhaps because of the numbing agent he had pressed on his chest before, he could barely feel her ministrations. The pain-numbing medicine was a specialty of the Ebrian surgeons. In their youth, both Emere and Rakel had relied on it heavily during their adventures.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.
“For what?”
“For leaving you like that.”
A shade of sadness came over Rakel’s features. She looked as if she was about to say something to him but then turned her face and dipped the curved surgical needle into the small pot of boiling water. She then gently brought the needle to his wound. A narrow plume of steam issued from the needle tip.
“Hot?”
“No.”
She pierced him with the needle. Still no sensation.
“Don’t be sorry,” Rakel suddenly continued. “You’ve always gone and done exactly what you wanted to do. Don’t pretend you feel sorry for anyone.”
“I had no other choice. There were things I had to do.”
After making another stitch, Rakel let go of the needle, letting it dangle by the thread.
“You know, back then I might have been young enough to buy that. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about it since.” Her voice was strained. “You left Kamori to find a way to fight the Empire. Then you met me, and what did we really do? We certainly didn’t topple the Empire. After ten years with me, you then said youwould go back home, andagainyour reason was to fight the Empire. But what did you accomplish there? Twenty years later, and you’re still no closer to liberating Kamori.”
“It turned out that way, but—”
“Please, look at the Empire. They have legions, gigatherions, the Star of Mersia. They have conquered the world. What can anyone do to defeat them? Why couldn’t you admit it was an impossible dream?”
“But you went along with it for ten years.”
Rakel stood up so forcefully that the stool she sat on fell backward.
“I wasn’t going along with a dream! I was going along withyou!”
He had always known that, of course. And that was why he had apologized. But coming from Rakel’s mouth, the truth weighed heavier than ever.
“You know, I’m a Commons councillor now. I may spend the rest of my life in the Capital. Maybe we can see each other from time to time, talk about the old days.”
Rakel said nothing to that. As if to shake off her own annoyance, she turned her head and stared at the wall. The needle still hung by its thread, its white string reddening. By the time the blood reached the needle, Rakel turned back to him.
“I was with you longer than anyone else I’ve been with,” she murmured.
“Me as well.”
“Which makes me doubt you will be here for very long. You’ll find some other star in the sky to chase.”
In the dream vision in the square, Loran had pointed at asingle star shining in the black sky and told him to reach for it. Whenever he saw a star or some mysterious object in his dream, he always went after it. But the closest he had ever gotten to reaching what he sought was when he met Loran and joined the Arlander rebellion.
Still, was that not enough for one life?
Rakel sat back down and continued to sew up his wound. He couldn’t feel the needle at all. After some final stitches, Rakel finished up and snipped the needle off the thread.
“The numbing medicine will stop working in a little while. If you don’t want to be up all night in pain, you’ll need to apply it twice more. I’ll have your clothes washed.” Rakel paused. “Don’t exert yourself—just stay here for a night.”
He wanted to. His exhaustion over the past half year in the Capital had reached its peak. He imagined himself listening to the light rain thudding on the wooden shutters as he drank warm wine and talked of the past with his old flame.
Emere nodded. Rakel picked up his bloody clothes and dropped them in a basket in the corner.
“I’ll bring a blanket.”
