“She liked you,” Alice says without thinking. “She asks about you, like, every day.”
Van swallows, and Alice wishes she could take it back. She really doesn’t need Van knowing how much Alice and Isabella talk about her, what Alice says. Who Isabella is rooting for, in all of this.
“Tell her ‘Merry Christmas’ for me,” Van says after a long beat, and Alice nods, grateful for the excuse to duck her eyes back to her phone and read the messages that have piled up.
So are you back together with him?
Well I guess not “back”
Are you with him?
What about Van?
Are you smooching both of them?
RUE RUE WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW
Ksdskdhfo!*!^#*)($0
Okay that was Hazel but honestly I agree with her
DUDE
Alice laughs.Sorry. I had to have a human conversation for a second.
I don’t know what I’m doing
I don’t know if I’m with him or not
Like neither of us really want that I don’t think
But his entire family wants us together and we both seem to be playing along with that?
I mean, except for Van
Obviously
Isabella doesn’t write back immediately. It’s almost two minutes before the next text comes through. Alice wonders if Hazel grabbed her phone again, or if Bella was carefully deciding how to phrase what she wanted to say.
Just make sure you’re doing whatever you do for the right reasons,Bella sends.And I think we both know that making his mom and aunt happy aren’t it.
Okay, The Bachelor,Alice types, but she knows Bella is right.I promise I’ll be here for the right reasons.
Isabella sends her a GIF of a rose ceremony, and Alice tucks her phone back into her pocket.
Bella’s right, but it’s more complicated than she knows.
“Alice, Van, it’s time to get the cookies out of the oven!” Babs shouts down the stairs, and Alice gratefully stands up, scurrying into the kitchen.
It’s Christmas Eve. That means cookies now, existential dread later.
Nineteen
The existential dread comes more quickly than Alice would have hoped. It’s after the delicious roast ham dinner, after Alice shamefully confesses that she doesn’t have presents for anyone and is resolutely shushed by Babs for worrying about it, and midway through a double-feature viewing ofElfandHome Alone.They’ve all changed into brand-new matching pajamas, Alice included—they’re red and flannel and warm and they make Alice want to cry.
Babs and Van had to help Nolan into his, and Uncle Joe and Steve are both covering theirs up with giant bathrobes, but it’s still fucking delightful and so picture perfect that Alice sort of can’t believe this is her life.
Well, of course, it’s not, really. It’s a life she’s borrowing until Nolan dumps her or his recent memories come back or Alice kisses Van again and everything falls apart.
